vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 27, 2018 23:16:12 GMT 1
One, two, three, four, five, six. Straight into Ca$hflow and they do give him the $ this time. This is just a whole load of nothing, isn't it? It could have been generated by robots. There's no soul in this, there's no passion, it's going through the motions. The lads are giving it everything but I don't believe a word of it. This song basically encapsulates everything that's wrong with music around now. It's cheap, tawdry, automated, created to fill a market gap, calculated to appeal to the highest number of people. There is not a single person in the world that could have thought, looking at this, "yeah, that's what I want to do". And I doubt the members of Ca$hflow ever thought "yeah, this is the sort of music we want to make."
At least "Invisible Touch" has a memorable chorus. Indeed, listening to it back, I have no idea what the Ca$hflow song sounded like any more. We go up to no. 2. Simply sh*te. Could be no. 1 next week. Oh God. f***ing yuppie sh*t.
Top 40. Amazulu at 33, that sounds promising. Lot of big names with flop songs that I don't remember at all; Mercury, Culture Club, Stewart. Highest new entry comes from Sigue Sigue Sputnik. Heh. Falco is in twice? BS. Wylie at 13 is head and shoulders above the others. Matchroom Mob have lower case in their name. Uniquely.
Oh, we have Davies (in a bizarre pully) and Bates. Breakers, Miami Sound Machine, with something that looks and sounds like it has come from the Kids from Fame. Which might have been excusable three years ago. Falconius. Same as the previous single.
Back to the studio. PSBs. This is wayyy better than their no. 1. Far more interesting and arch. Chris seems to have had a stroke though. From them to Nu Shooz, who can't be better to come over despite having a hit. Only thing that stands out are the sampled voice bits.
OK, new no. 1. Heh, it's Doctor & The Medics. How random. I love how serious the girls are with their dance, they're like a female Wilson Keppel & Betty. Guitarist has a pic of Janet Ellis stuck to his guitar. Is that satire? Playout is Jaki Graham, can't be arsed.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 28, 2018 11:25:03 GMT 1
19/6. Straight into Bucks Fizz with a really ambitious song, and a new hottie (don't blame me, she calls herself that on her leotard, well, Hot Property). This is...spectactular. Burundi beats à la Adam & The Ants, African harmonies. It's magnificent. Where on earth did this come from?
A-ha, who are at no. 5. They're not even trying now. Video is obviously expensive and artistic but it's without any engagement.
Amazulu. They're at no. 9. Top ten at last. The first girl band to do so since, ooh, Belle Stars? Well, they've deserved a hit and they;ve got one. Not their best but they're a fun act.
Charts. Claire & Friends. Oh dear. Dhar Braxton? Who? I love the name Lovebug Starski.
Breakers. Bananarama. Keren is looking uberhot. They've done the Sandi Grease transformation. A bit of Queen by numbers. Even the video is basically all their other videos. Utterly trite and calculated. Owen Paul, who seems to have run out of words after the title, which is repeated ad nauseam.
Nu Shooz have finally deigned to turn up. This always seems to be on. Non-moving at 3. Who the hell is buying this?
Another video. Housemartins. Biggest climmber. Phill Jupitus making a guest appearance. This is jolly good fun. They stilll had the axe wielding lunatic at this time. Paul Heaton can bust a move. Maybe he should go into dance music. Refreshing simple indiepop. Good stuff.
Top 10. Wham! get a big cheer for being at no. 2 with a single that is patently a fanbase buy. They've not shown it. Playout? Doctor & The Medics are on video, maybe they know their chances of staying at no. 1 are non-existent now. Amazing they held off Wham. The Anadins are more animated with tambourines.
No, playout is MSM, not Wham, which is as rubbish as before.
Incidentally, Davies did this show solo. Are they giving up on double bubble, or did someone not turn up?
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 28, 2018 14:05:09 GMT 1
3/7. Housemartins, looking rather serious. Perhaps they're p*ssed off that having zoomed to no. 3 they're stuck there. Axe-wielding maniac wearing a t-shirt saying Frankie Says Arm Yourselves. Ironic? Or a recommendation?
Then Gary Numan. Wow, blast from the past. Now this is intriguing. He has added goth guitars and a Sisters of Mercy-esque vocalist. Lots of planes. It's actually rather good.
Samantha Fox, up 12 to 12, with a single I don't remember. Perhaps I was subliminally thinking only that she had a pair of big hits. Oh, yes, I remember it now. The opening bars basically are "Rock Me Amadeus" and then it gets faster. Rubbish, really.
Charts. Steve Winwood. I think Janice Long enjoyed saying the first part of Cock Robin's name. Suzanne Vega has the highest chart entry at a meagre 34. Furniture at 29, that's a great song. Cheers for Claire & Friends, eh? The Real Roxanne, that was a cause celebre then.
Oh, I get the cheers now. Claire & Friends are in the studio. This is the winner of the Saturday Superstore Search For A Superstar contest, which also launched one other chart act. But it wasn't some sort of organic bunch of kids getting together for something they'd written - this was basically St Winifred's f***ing School Choir. For some reason she changes her miming from the main line to the chorus at the end. The Stephen on her scarf was actually her brother, which is, in retrospect, a bit icky.
Back to the prog. Bucks Fizz on video, which looks like was filmed at Grangemouth Refinery. Cheryl and Shelley look loads more serious than they did on Ver Pops.
Sly Fox. This is quite dark and industrial, on the QT. It's intriguing. Not sure about the name though.
Top ten. A-ha are down, not surprising. Amazulu get a top 5 hit but no more. Madonna at no. 2. WHY??? And Wham! are no. 1 with, well, apparently it's a double-a side, but I don't recall that. The flip is even worse than "Edge of Heaven". It's like f***ing lounge music.
Playout is a kick upwards with Max Headroom. There are a few odd singles in the charts right now and they tend to be the best ones.
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vya
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Post by vya on Oct 28, 2018 18:03:39 GMT 1
I generally can't bring myself to comment on these episodes, as the general quality of music is, err, not high, it being 1986 . But on the latest one to make it to the iPlayer - one very fine track, Stan Ridgway's "Camouflage": a Vietnam war tale, and in places close to being spoken rather than sung. What prompts my comment was the nature of the performance: Ridgway is in the studio, and his miming is quite a special degree of atrocious, so much so that I strongly suspect it must be deliberate. It doesn't line up with what is being played over the speakers at all...
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 11, 2018 10:42:59 GMT 1
10/7. "Let's kick off with Midnight Star." No, let's not, it's appalling. It's not even muzak. It's Brooks and Bates. Rod Stewart. "Every beat Of My Heart". Video is on a train. Midnight Star, then Train. Hm, I'm being lyrically inspired. Or is it a coach? Who cares? This is Rod by numbers. Back to Master Bates in the studio. The Real Roxanne with Hitman Howie T. We have to watch the DJ on this one, apparently. Is this Real Roxanne the REAL Roxanne? I thought Roxanne Shanté was the Real Roxanne. Either way, it's sub-Antony Carmichael.
f***ing goes on for ages too.
Charts. Stan RidgEway. Haywoode is a girl? Never knew that. UB40 with "Sing Our Own Song", ironic.
Breakers. Furniture only get a breaker with what is, by some distance, the classiest song in the charts? They should have got a full play. Here is Haywoode. God, she's thin. Steve Winwood. Have forgotten the Haywoode song already. The UB40 song is great fun, actually. Live video suits it.
Back to the studio. No. 3 is Owen Paul and the song whose entire lyric seems to be the song title. Can't be bothered with it. Amazulu in the top five. A new no. 1 and it is being greeted with no enthusiasm whatsoever. Because it's Madonna and it is 100% hype. Dire.
Playout is Bananarama. Keren, be still my heart. I love about Bananarama that it is still all half-soaked. They're not stage school brats doing everything 100% perfect, they still have that three girls p*ssed in a nightclub having a go at the karaoke. Love it.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 11, 2018 11:21:56 GMT 1
23/7. Hm, are we a day early? 1986, so is it the World Cup? Oh, a royal wedding. Andy and Fergie, I assume. Heh, Hollywood Beyond. Mentioned them elsewhere just recently. Must be subliminal. This is interesting, seems to be Indian influenced, but I got bored with it quite quickly.
Sinitta. God, she's gorgeous. Going out with David Essex. Crap song. Audrey Hall. Awwwww, this is so, so, sweet. Lovely bit of lovers rock with a lovely voice. So, it is worth doing these catch-ups after all, as this is a positive treasure.
Charts. Jesus & Mary Chain at 20 is the only notable development. We stop at 11 so we can see Palmer's mannequins again. Keyboardist has MASSIVE eyes, wow. He has dancers now who are not as hot as the mannequins. Hello, female production staff. It's one hell of a boastful song. Also a dull one. His suit looks expensive. I suppose I should be railing about women being used as fetish objects and cyphers, but, heck, I am an heterosexual male and am mesmerized.
Breakers. We get Spans and 5 Star. Surely that means a full play for J&MC who have entered higher than both? No, they are merely breakers. Ad this is, simply, STUNNING. It is one of the greatest singles ever released. Magnificent.
We don't get full J&MC because we get full Haywoode. Black music has taken a REALLY wrong turn. It has all become generic.
Top 2 is atrocious. Playout is Katrina & The Waves with a song I doubt even Katrina remembers. I see that sun worked for them before so they run with it again. It's quite jolly. More expensive video.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 12, 2018 18:56:54 GMT 1
31/7. Two prime numbers. We start with Spandau Ballet, with a song that I'm guessing nobody calls for on the 80s reunion tours. It's a nothing song. Shouty start like they're a boy band. It's a 1970s soft-rock pastiche. They're probably ashamed of themselves for releasing this crap. There's nothing SB about it.
Read and Lang. We have It Bites in the background. We have a new no. 1. And now we have J&MC. On video despite Long sweeping her arm as if they're in the studio. This is life-changeingly fantastic. And the video is so simple yet genius, sums up the song perfectly. I'm half-expecting a media backlash tomorrow as it is so obviously about drugs.
We go from something that touches the soul to something aimed solely at the wallet. Five Star. "They're never out of the top 40," says Long. That's no compliment.
Charts. "Addicted To Love" is going back up. It Bites are at 36. Rubbish name. Have we seen Cock Robin yet? LULU??!?! The Smiths at 18 with a pure pop single.
Breakers. Paul McCartney with "Press". You know, I could spend eternity trying to think of all of Paul McCartney's songs and I would never have come up with this one. Viral video on the Central Line and Swiss Cottage. It's bouncily fun. Smiths only get a breaker. Which is mad given that this is astounding. "The lean side of beef that just slips down..." This ought to be a big hit with non-Smiths fans. Oh, they fade out before the "Hang The DJ" bit.
At 6 is Stan Ridgway, of Wall Of Voodoo non-fame. This is dead popular at school. I preferred "Mexican Radio" but it's good he has a hit. Clever song.
Top 10. We've still not had It Bites. New no. 1 to come, who? OH GOD DEAR SWEET GOD NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!
OK, straight to the playout. And FINALLY it's It Bites. I bloody love this one. Swagger, gallus, bravado, chutzpah. This song has it in spades. Big, brassy, in yer face shouty pop-rock. Usually I hate this sort of thing but it just works. Perhaps it's the false chorus, sudden change of pace and key that gives it a real extra kick.
That could have been such a good show. More Smiths and less Spans.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 14, 2018 9:51:28 GMT 1
14/8. We start with a power chord. It Bites, who have made it to the top 10, and the studio. Retro way of holding guitars. This is a definite highlight of the year.
My God. Bates is wearing absolute smart casual. A pretty sh*te Lionel Richtea single. Then Anita Dobson with "Anyone Can Break A Vase". My God, the plebs will buy any old sh*t.
Charts. Peter "Et" Cetera. "Panic" stalls at 11. Breakers include Dr & The Medics. The Anadins mime in this one. This needed more budget to give it more oomph. Bruce Hornsby & his range with a very Grandstandy backing thing. It's quite elegiac in its way. The lyrics are probably meaningful, but, let's face it, nobody's going to remember them. Prince with a forgettable song.
Phil Fearon. God, this is dull. Top 10. The top four is atrocious. Playout is Jaki Graham. I rest my case.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Nov 14, 2018 13:29:28 GMT 1
Although I dispute the impact it had on me, my sisters version of events is that I loved Anyone Can Fall In Love so much that they ensured it made a suitably embarrassing appearance in my best man’s speech. It’s awful of course, but in my defence I was 9.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 15, 2018 10:33:07 GMT 1
I'm claiming superiority on that, when I was 9 I was listening to Madness and OMD and of course Altered Images.
21 August, Depeche Mode starting, Gahan is going all dancey again. Disappointing. Just as the Mode look as if they're getting interesting, they go back to By Numbers again.
Davies & Brooks, and a new number 1. Yay, no longer de Uurgh.
Prince. No, this is just same ol' too. Is Prince's genius reputation because he is so prolific? So everyone can find something special somewhere? Blimey, thought that was Rowland Rivron in the video.
"Mega record time" now. Bruce Hornsby & The Range. It wasn't as big a hit as people remember, perhaps because of its familiarity. There's a bloke at the back of the stage just clapping. Is he a Ranger who got cut from the record? Hm, no, I think he's audience. Which looks rather old.
Talkong of old, The Stranglers are at 40. There's a vicar at 28. God, Cetera is up 20. Why? Breakers include Janet Jackson, who sounds like she should have been with Boystown Gang. I wonder how the sister of Michael Jackson got a record deal. You'd think the highest new entry (Human League) would get a full play rather than a breaker. Albeit this is not them at their best. Indeed it might be them at their worst; this is yuppie crap. We get too much of Cetera. Oh, it's from a film. Quelle surprise. Jermaine Stewart moistening some chick. Best thing about this rubbish.
Back to the studio. Modern Talking. I seem to remember I was never sure at the time whether the act or the song was called "Brother Louie". Probably because I never listened to it for more than a few seconds. My God, this is basically a Pantene Pro V advert. Dreadful. It is apparently a European hit. BREXIT!!!
Top 10. Brand new number 1. Boris Gardiner. Boris has the same first three letters as Boring. This is his first hit. According to Davies. Actually it isn't. How the hell did this reach no. 1? At least it's not the Irish adulterer. This must be just about the most forgotten no. 1 of the 80s. Maybe "Being With You" or "Oh Julie".
Playout from the vicar and his soprano mate. Hello, that's June Miles-Kingston on drums. This is quite jolly and uplifting. Despite the title. Oh, it's a duet. The woman has the lower voice. Reminds me a bit of the Apple Mac advert.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Nov 26, 2018 23:01:43 GMT 1
For some reason my Sky+ has been confused into recording the Gary Davies / Simon Mayo episode that starts with Walk Like An Egyptian twice. I know they’re all repeated but it usually only picks them up once - was there something odd about the scheduling of this one?
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2018 19:41:20 GMT 1
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Post by Deleted on Dec 1, 2018 19:41:35 GMT 1
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Dec 2, 2018 0:03:09 GMT 1
Proper excited when an episode starts with Suburbia by the Pet Shop Boys. This is top quality, era defining pop music, sublime. So what do they follow it with? Cliff Richard & Sarah Brightman, Boris Gardiner, Marti Webb, Paul Hardcastle and Nick Berry. Jesus Christ that was hard going, by the end of that episode people must have been ready to write pop music off as a spent force.
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Post by suedehead on Dec 2, 2018 10:54:43 GMT 1
Yes, we’ve had a few more episodes that have been a struggle to get through.
Going back to Furniture, they joined a list of acts who produced classy pop but never had the success they deserved. See also The Beloved, Black and, more recently, Hurts.
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vya
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Post by vya on Dec 2, 2018 13:01:58 GMT 1
I had forgotten quite how exceedingly dreadful "Anyone Can Fall In Love" was, or that "Every Loser Wins" is only marginally superior. Hopefully this trend of soap stars thinking they can sing will be over soon....
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Post by suedehead on Dec 2, 2018 13:10:01 GMT 1
There is something worse than a soap star who thinks they can sing - a record-buying public that seems to agree.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 8, 2018 19:44:59 GMT 1
28 August. A live show, per Janice Long.
First up is Jermaine Stewart. Dire.
Next up is Peter "Et" Cetera. Repellent.
Next up is Jaki Graham. Appalling.
Charts. The The at 39. That's the first bit of mild interest in this show. Lulu? Stochastic. There's not much in that rundown that gives me hope for the rest of the show.
The breakers. The Stranglers in gaol uniforms for "Nice In Nice". Burnel takes vox on this one. It's very "European Female". Daryl Hall, who somehow has got worse without John Oates. Cutting Crew. You know what happens if you're MOR? You get knocked down and run over.
Studio. Human League. Dammit, it's not them at their best, it's them doing yuppie soundtracks. Peel says it's the best in the top 20 and he's right because everything else in it is so atrocious. Maybe not no. 5, which is decent enough (Communards) albeit uninspired. Sinitta back up to no. 2. Boring Boris is still at no. 1. Playout is the Jackson family spare parts.
God almighty. That was gash.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 8, 2018 20:38:35 GMT 1
Let's hope the next week will see an improvement. This time at the start we see the presenting DJ (Davies) and he links to The Communards, although only Jimi seems to be in the studio. He promptly leaves the stage to climb up a gantry. Hm, innovative. He only looks about six. Oh, he walks down the gantry at the chorus to the rest of the band. Well, I will give them credit for doing something different. I remember a debate at school whether Sarah-Jane was a man in drag. Is that Clare Hirst from Belle Stars on sax? Too brief a glimpse. It's certainly June Miles-Kingston on drums. It's like a women of new wave supergroup. And compared to last week's direfest, this is a joyous release. Although in 1981 it would have been a bit chuck it on the pile.
Chyron spells it as Communardes. Davies seems to be solo. Promises a great show and segues into MC Miker G and Deejay Sven. My God. They should be before the Hague for this.
After the Bruce Hornsby video (vide supra), we have Bon Jovi. I'm starting a Bon Jovi tribute band, by the way. I've got the vocalist and guitarist, so we're halfway there. Cock rock, it merely exists.
God, that f***ing holiday crap is being rapped in the interstices. Top 40. Psychedelic Furs? That is almost certainly going to be the best in the 40 by a distance.
We drop back to 16 for Farley Jackmaster Funk and Darrell Pandy, bit of Chicago house, this is meant to be a new and groundbreaking sound but it doesn't sound that much of an evolution. Pandy's voice is something rather interesting though; knocks seven shades out of much of the rubbish that has been around lately. He seems to be dressed in a glittery tent. Starts addressing the audience and finishes on the ground. Heh.
Top 10. We know Communard(e)s are at 2, so is Boring Boris still no. 1? Yup. FGTH are new in at 6, they were promised earlier, but no sign, they must be playing out. Oh, for some reason they go back to no. 6 and show Frankie rather than the no. 1. This is a bit harder and darker than their material hitherto, I think it is meant to be more real. It is undermined by the fact that the band looks utterly, utterly ridiculous. Cycle shorts ahoy.
The playout is Boring Boris. Hello, is this the BBC gerrymandering the charts? They must be fed up with it too.
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Post by o on Dec 9, 2018 12:25:11 GMT 1
Will vas ever catch up to date?
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