vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 11:20:37 GMT 1
24 Sep. Starting with Johnny Hates Jazz. "I Don't Want To Be A Hero". I don't want to listen to this. ABC. Throwback to their 1983 aristeia. But too repetitive. Over-hooked. Madonna at no. 4 with a pointless answer. And a pointless single. It is the textbook definition of releasing any old sh*t with a name on it because it will sell regardless. Charts. Dull. Jan Hammer trying to look Miami Vice. Computer screen because modern. Christ alive, what is the actual point in buying this? It's a f***ing jingle. Breakers. Numan remix, although they seem to be playing the original. LL Cool J. " I'm rap, rap, rapraprapping." Jackson at 5 with"Bad". Nominative determinism.
Next up: Mick Jagger. At no. 41. I can imagine the conversation. "We can get Mick Jagger on the show? Brilliant! All we need is for him to be in the top 40, that should be no problem..." "Oh dear." It's actually the best song on the show. By a long distance. (Discounting Numan.) Great drum intro and rather Tom Waits vocals. Great performance too.
Top 10. M/A/R/R/S at no. 2 because the SAWmill have got an injunction. Which should never have been awarded. There should be a chart retcon to get rid of the talentless sh*t from the top spot. ****.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 11:52:50 GMT 1
1.10. Very binary. Smith and Davies AGAIN? Did they come as a job lot? Anyway. Sisters Of Mercy. Andrew Eldritch and that girl he said did nothing other than add eye candy. And not much eye candy at that. I dunno, she has that gothlolita thing down nicely. It's like a subversion of instru-vocal duos where it's normally the bloke doing the work. I quite like this. Oh, there's a band too. Eldritch is a great word.
Jackson. FF.
Something special. Three guys who first appeared in 1967. It's The Bee Gees. Thumpy start. This isn't a bad record at all either. Maurice Gibb appears to have added strings to a stylophone. Robin's doing f*** all. Nice key change.
Charty chart chart. Steve Walsh. Who? God, I still hate this music. ABC non-move despite performing. Those little parallelograms either side of the number at the top make it look like everything is going down. JHJ actually DROP after performing, lol.
We have the most random reason for someone to be in the studio. Sisters whose dad taught Numan how to fly. "Cars" is still f***ing brilliant. Is that indeed Billy Curry et al backing? The little remix tweaks for this one work a treat. Sometimes less is more. Give it a real noise and urgency.
Steve Winwood. Dull.
Shakin Stevens. Let me follow the thought process. Collins had a hit with a needless Supremes cover. What can I do to top the charts? I know. God almighty. Mate, just give it up. Retain what little dignity you have. Mead & Goulding get the highest climber but they don't get a play. THE REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER!!!!!!! We don't show M/A/R/R/S yet because we need to hear from Nicky "dressed as my grandad" Campbell. And it's a playout because they don't want it there the next week. State of that.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 12:26:30 GMT 1
Keep going. 8/10. Which is not a mark for the show. Smith & Davies AGAIN? Did literally nobody else want to do this show? Jellybean, with some useless landfill dance.
Biggest climber is Kiss. They've eschewed their make-up. It's weird seeing them as a bog standard hair metal band. It's quite raucous, very us v the world. Almost appealing.
Jammer. Feck off. Erasure with something political. It's OK, but it's like most rock star politics. Can't really empathize when they don't really have to work for a living.
LL Cool J on US TOTP. Nia Peeples would be better.
Now it gets confusing. "I Found Lovin'" is in the charts twice. By Fatback and Fat Man. TOTP show the fat man. Why does this load of sh*te need one version rather than two?
Mead & Goulding at 2,and they still have no play. This will cost them a chart-topper. The no. 1 is M/A/R/R/S and it's a playout again.
Is this deliberate chart fixing by TOTP?
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 16:44:25 GMT 1
15/10. Davies - was he trapped in the studio? - and Powell. UB40, starts exactly like "Red Red Wine" till the brass comes in. I really, really like this one though. It's dual vocal through most of it. Nice and bouncy, with some interesting twists in it. Wow, this is the best start for a prog for a while.
Five Star. Warhol was wrong.
The Alarm. Still going. This is close to epic. Needed more commitment in the production. Mike Peters trying to sound like Bono.
Charts, and Terence "Trout" d'Arby. It's OK, but not a patch on his earlier releases.
Breakers. Los Lobos. Their time is surely up, this is just a note-for-note cover of no independent merit whatsoever. Bananarama can consider themselves unlucky only to get a breaker with a new entry at 22. Spesh as the breakers are getting Chart Show rundown runs. The Mac with something so MOR that the line-painters would run it down. Was (Not Was) with something interestingly funky. Could have done with more of that.
And we get Fatback Band. Taking away the "you wot" bits do not improve it. Great name though.
Ah, I see the BBC's chart fixing has worked. Bee Gees leapfrog two songs with very limited play. Billy Idol gets the playout with a fun version of a terrific choon. Even now Mead & Goulding don't get a go on TOTP.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 11:02:31 GMT 1
22/10. Daveybates. The start is Was (Not Was) with their curious punctuation. Not sure there were dinosaurs 40m years ago. Unless one counts birds. This is great fun. Interesting visual contrast between the singers - one with mobile mike and bow tie, the other with porkpie hat. It's like they are two different bands but it works well. They probably need a proper dance a la Macarena to really kill it.
We go to TOTP USA because the BBC is desperate to push this experiment. And all for a f***ing godawful shitwank track from The Wolves that was on last week.
PSBs. "Rent". Weak sauce. Back to the let's talk for a while and sing the chorus while trying to be all meaningful. Bored vas.
Top 40. Amazulu, beaten to the punch.
Kiss at no.4. Live performance chosen. Well, live vocal, which is too loud for the backing. Wonder why this wasn't a hit in the States?
Erasure, this time with brass, see above. Breakers. The Cure sounding their most janglepoppy. Really good. Ray Parker Jr, the diametric opposite. And George Michael, who only gets a breaker. Shoutout to Birmingham Small Arms there.
Top 10. Idol with a bit of a jump there. Bananarama though get a biiiig climb. They're on target for the top spot next week. Them or George Michael But right now it is The Bee Gees. The 599th so-called official number one; there's already speculation as to who will nab it...
The Nanas get the play-out. Not ideal billing for a genuine no. 1 candidate. They should really have been in the Lobos spot.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 11:30:38 GMT 1
Halloween eve eve. Davies, for about the trillionth time in a row, and Wright, who looks the prat he is. Style Council. Weller's descent into atrocity continues. Were it not for his socialism I doubt anyone would buy this crap.
George Michael at 2. So, who is no. 1? They didn't mention a new chart-topper, and I'm sure they would have done for no. 600, so presumably still The Bee Gees. The Nanas have missed their chance by a couple of weeks. "Faith" is poor fare.
Oh God. Ghastly. With the same fecking song. Charts. Who are Heartbeat? Scarlet Fantastic, great name. Jellybean has been at 13 for three weeks now.
Wright: "I told you this was a good show, didn't I?" Really? It's been utter arse so far. And what is next? Ray Parker Jr. Another one who was on last week. With utter, utter, utter sh*te.
Breakers this week. There's no point in having breakers if they're just going to be on next week. Eurythmics with something rather intriguing, if a bit Will Powers. George Harrison new at 22 and T'Pau new at 19. The former is a jaunty, if needless, cover. The latter...epic.
And we finally get something good. Scarlet Fantastic, two-thirds of Swansway (another great name). This is, in fact, and very fittingly, fantastic.
Top 10. Idol only up one. Nanas at 3, as I had deduced. Bee Gees at the top. We do not get Heartbeat or other new entries because we've got to see the Mac. Why? Blind doe.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 13:14:58 GMT 1
Remember remember. Long and Smith. And T'Pau, who have re-entered the top 5. This is about Frankenstein, isn't it?
Followed by George Harrison. The two are nearly yoked together, 5 and 7 respectively. It's a race between them to the top of the charts. Far too repetitive. Same verse, pretty much.
Heartbeat. We do get to see them, even though they're non moving at 32. Guilt over missing them out last week? Not actually missing much, frankly. Jon Moss was starting a group called Heartbeat UK, they went nowhere.
Charts. "The heavily pregnant Steve Walsh." J&MC in the charts, woo. The Eurythmics experiment didn't quite take. Whitesnake with "Here I Go" (sic) is a big climber. Mercury & Caballe are new in at 12. Good shot for the top of the charts next week? By coincidence there are half-a-dozen candidates for no. 600.
Anyhoo, we go into the vid for them, but it's a bit, well, blatant. In that it is created for something rather than to be itself. Like let's show off as much as we can and throw in an opera voice that doesn't work on it.
Two breakers. Whitesnake. Is this an old song? It sounds familiar from about 1983. I've no strong objections to it. Standard rawk. I don't begrudge the Snake their hits, they've been close to breaking through for a while.
And Communards have gone full UB40. Their own stuff isn't selling so they primp up an old song and bung it out. Somerville's voice is higher than Gaynor's. I like the girl next to him. Although I'm guessing I'm the wrong sex for her. She has my dance non-moves.
Back to the studio. Eric B & Rakim, heh, they've turned up. Well, I'm liking this. Great production work. It's almost languid, very laid back. Hello, there's Ofra Haza in there.
Top 10. Well, I could see one of 1, 2, 3, 5, or 7 being no. 1 next week; maybe even 12 or 16. Very busy at the top of the charts. Bee Gees and W(NW) see us out.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 17:31:01 GMT 1
12/11. Powell and Davies. T'Pau are on. So they are up from 5. We however start with one of last week's breakers. Since they cut the programme from 40 minutes, the opportunities for new acts are vanishing. This should have been on in full last week and given someone else a shot.
The US experiment means we get Medley & Warnes and a graphic of "UK Chart Position" because the US graphic of 15 is still there. I wonder why TOTP US never caught on? Would have thought it would have been a good thing in a fragmented scene. Live vocals. Can't be doing with it though. Far too overplayed.
Mirage in the studio with "Jack Mix IV". Isn't this basically a various artists medley? Or did they re-perform everything? Or get session musicians to do it? Can't be arsed to find out, this is unimaginative dross.
Charts. Are WASP Spinal Tap?
Alexander O'Neal. Once upon a time soul music was stuff like Sam & Dave or Otis Redding. This is a time of musical midgets. He has talent but the song is dire.
Breakers. Donna Summer. See Alexander O'Neal. Marillion, still re-recording "Kayleigh" in different guises. Houston with some landfill dance.
Top ten. Ghastly goes DOWN!!!! Ha ha. Well, given that we haven't had T'Pau yet, they must be no. 1. And indeed it is. They get checked as the 600th. Well, it's the best in the ten by a long chalk. Fresh, exciting, and new, says Powell. And we're followed by a song that's decades old. Hm.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on May 31, 2019 21:52:03 GMT 1
19/11, Nobhead and Mayo. It has just occurred to me that maybe TOTP had to get rid of "Yellow Pearl" because it was so much better than the utter sh*te in the charts by now. Hence them recruiting Hardcastle for something that doesn't qualify as music.
Maxi Priest with a reggae version of a Robert Palmer hit. Strong voice, interesting idea, I think that's Vicky Lickorish on backing vocals, but it's a dull song.
Houston. Not interested.
The Proclaimers. There was a load of buzz about this on breakfast television. You'd think the one with the guitar would let the one without do the verses. This is actually a really strong song with powerful and emotional input. Sometimes less is more. And I applaud them sticking to their accents. Oh, the guitarless one gets a moment in the sun by going through the shipping forecast. "A definite future number one." Well, have they inside knowledge? First mention of Christmas...
Charts. Housemartins with another pitch for a chart-topper is stalled low. Ditto Boy George.
Walrus alert. Where has this come from? White seems to have shed a few pounds. It's not really seventies Baz. Doesn't play to his voice enough. It's a bit of a mess, in fact.
Breakers. Boy George with a simple but elegant video with a book's pages being turned. Better than the song. The Smiths get a video. Weird that this isn't a bigger hit given it seems to be a farewell. It's also their best single for some time. Nobhead says The Smiths are his favourite band. Somehow I don't believe him.
Donna Summer. She sounds like a Pointer Sister on this. A bemusing song. Needs a chorus. Maybe she should chat with The Proclaimers.
Top 10. Top 2 are the same. Makes a change for me to be able to watch the no.1 rather than FF to the playout. It's the video now. I may need to examine to solve the question being asked at school - can one see a nipple or is it a negligee? It is a negligee. Nice pizzicato.
Playout is Whitesnake. This has US no. 1 written all over it. Quoesque.
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Post by smokeyb on Jun 1, 2019 0:00:57 GMT 1
Top of the Pops - The story of 1988 is on BBC 4 on Friday 7th June, followed by the some of the biggest hits.
The good news is their are only 4 episodes hosted by Mike Smith the dates are 28.01.88, 04.02.1988, 10.03.1988 & 31.03.1988
then we should see every episode till the end of the year.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 1, 2019 10:38:41 GMT 1
26 November. Bates and Davies. And "of course" Blue Mercedes (that does not logically follow) whose entire career was predicated around the singer wearing shorts. They needed some USP because the song redefines the meaning of gash.
Boy George and Communards, see above. TOTP has turned into GAY. Charts. Shakin' Stevens is new in and of course is on. "There Ain't Nothing Like" by The Tams. Nothing like what?
And it is Shaky now, nice girl in the shoulderless top next to Master Bates. Shaky has gone back to the denim after his recent excrescences. It's the old Emile Ford track. Not bad.
Breakers. Cyndi Lauper's backing band at 28 with something, well, rather startlingly brilliant. This really stands out amongst the dross. Great video. McCartney with his Christmas no. 1 pitch, which is trying too hard. As are The Housemartins, who are on now, with a very soft sound. They let the drummer sing bits this time. Dull.
Top 10. Proclaimers up 15. On the logarithmic scale that means it will be at 4 next week and 1 the following. But Christmas market so things can go weird. Any novelties planned? Top 3 the same so a good no.1. And the BBC cut it off before the sax break, which is downright disrespectful, and is basically chart-fixing. Harrison plays us out.
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Post by o on Jun 1, 2019 14:20:23 GMT 1
Dont really remember this Climie Fisher song at all, but I guess it was the minor hit before Love changes everything was re released? Cher in an outfit that barely covers anything!
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 8:44:50 GMT 1
Three (six nine) twelve. Long Davies. And on commence avec Les Hooters, a name which means little in English, but could be translated roughly as Honkers. That name is going to hold them back. This is gloriously raucous indiepoppy stadiumy satire. Heh, someone in the audience is joining in. Must have been about now there were all those scandals about lachrymose tellypreachers apologizing for their sins (tax avoidance, rampant adultery &c).
Alexander O'Neal. "I'm fed up". You called it bro.
Charts. I know where I heard this top 40. On my nan's radiogram. I remember nos 40 and 39 being brilliant and thinking "they're going to be huge". On the radio Brookes didn't even name anything about The Tams' song, not even an adulterated title, but Long don't give a sh*t, she's right in there and gives its full monicker.
Studio. Davies with a gold disc to give tothe no. 3 Proclaimers. Like a whisky, this song matures with age. I asked them to do my garden, but they said they had no mower. Ey thenk yaw. Davies tips them for the top next week.
Breakers. Def Leppard, with something charmless. None of the chutzpah of "Sugar". Cutting Crew with something COMPLETELY dire. Nice Chinese girl in the video though. Jellybean with filler and Jackson with something that has a touch of the funk to it, but not a Christmas target.
Back to the real stuff. McCartney with Nigel Kennedy looking a tw*t. He's really pitching for the Christmas no.1 but too little too late? Bloke on bass looks like the singer in Fiction Factory.
Top 10. Shaky at 7, big climb. Top 2 are the same, I see why Davies thinks it might be The Proclaimers' turn. Batman hit me with a vase. "T-PAU!!!" "Surely you mean KERPOW?" "No, you've got china in your hand". They've got the sax break this time. Maxi Priest on the playout. Bit unnecessary given what's going on in the thirties.
Three great songs and an OK one. About as good as one can wish given the state of the charts.
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vya
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Post by vya on Jun 2, 2019 13:45:02 GMT 1
I'd forgotten how abysmal that remix of "Rise To The Occasion" was. How unnecessary, and how it ruined the song. The unremixed version is rather lovely. But adding all this "I know you're gonna dig this" stuff on the top, and an insensitive drum machine beat...it doesn't work at all.
And putting it on the show after "House Arrest", a brilliant, innovative record, which has the same sample in its introduction, just underlines that.
I suppose it was a hint already of how few hit singles Climie Fisher would prove to have in them, despite clearly having a competent (rather than brilliant) songwriter on board....
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 14:21:52 GMT 1
10/12. Smith on his tod. Pet Shop Boys with the second highest new entry. Oh God, Ghastly is the highest, isn't he? He's going to steal the Christmas number 1 with his lack of talent. The irony of a live TOTP when one starts with PSBs who barely ever do anything other than mine. This though is a belter, a barnstormer of a cover that takes an Elvis standard into a totally new direction. Didn't know Chris Lowe was a Peterborough fan. Wonder what's on his pooter screen? Raw Sex thought it was "I'M A tw*t".
Jackson at 3. Proclaimers no. 1? Can't be bothered. FF. Oh f***. This must be the cheapest, most appalling pitch for Christmas no. 1 ever. There is not one possible shred of integrity in this. If you're buying this, why not buy the original? Ah. Smith says it has been released. Spoiler?
Charts. Non-mover at no. 27 is Johnny Hates Jazz. OH WHAT A SURPRISE THEY ARE ON THE f***ing SHOW. There are at least a dozen songs with better claims to being on. Why not The Pogues? They've gone from 40 to 19.
Well, at least I can scoot past Mr Payola and his mates. Breakers. Madonna with something that nobody would buy had it not got the name "Madonna" on it. Mel & Kim have the highest climber, could this be a Christmas no.1? It's great fun and Kim's looking hotstuff.
Two breakers? That's it? No Pogues? We get Alison Moyet at no. 9. Another one looking for an overdue chart-topper. This is looking to be a stacked top 10 and we know the f***ing sh*te is going to top it.
Top 10. Proclaimers DOWN? Bit of a surprise. T'Pau hanging on. They must have one hell of a seller. Playout is Jellybean because the British Broadcasting Company hates the British.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Jun 3, 2019 22:58:24 GMT 1
I don’t know whether it’s Climie or Fisher who does the singing, but either way you’d think somebody would’ve held his jumper for him.
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Post by raliverpool on Jun 7, 2019 22:13:31 GMT 1
I won't spoil it for those of you who have not yet watched it ... but considering it was such a dreadful year for pop music Top Of The Pops: The Story of 1988 is hugely entertaining.
Unquestionably the star interviewer was Wendy James (Transvision Vamp) she has turned into the mum of Posh & Ginger Spice. If you did not know better you'd think Jennifer Saunders wrote what she said because she still seems lost in showbiz.
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Post by Admin on Jun 8, 2019 12:56:28 GMT 1
I'm going to lock this and start a new thread, as sometimes , huge threads can have an issue...
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