|
Post by Shireblogger on Jul 9, 2016 9:24:14 GMT 1
13 weeks at number one, and counting. So, let's see what Haven thinks of our all-conquering chart topper.
Is it an instantly forgettable conveyor belt r'n'b dirge, as some have suggested ? Or is it a classic cross-over hit, taking rap into the pop mainstream with a brilliantly simple piano hook ?
Remember, you are evaluating the song, not the current chart rules regarding streaming versus purchases.
For your review to count, you must write between 5 words and 5 paragraphs, and give it a score out of ten, from 0 (very bad) to 10 (very good).
Scores:
3.6 AVERAGE from 13 judges.
|
|
|
Post by Kingpin on Jul 10, 2016 15:14:07 GMT 1
I think One Dance is ok, it's not really something I'd choose to listen to though. I've only heard it a few times, it's not as bad as I'd been led to believe it might be.
Not deserving of its status as one of the longest running number one singles of all time, but compared to some of the intolerable RnB songs out there it's not bad.
4/10
|
|
TheThorne
Member
*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
Posts: 27,395
ONLINE
|
Post by TheThorne on Jul 10, 2016 16:08:09 GMT 1
I don't think it's bad either , it has that same chilled out vibe as the recent Bieber hits and it kind if sticks in your head the little chant but it is very unsubstantial and slight, it is really like hundreds of thousands of people quite like it and that's enough I just can't see howanybody could be excited by it or love it
4.5/10
|
|
|
Post by o on Jul 10, 2016 19:21:28 GMT 1
This has been #1 for 13 weeks, seriously? I've managed to not hear it yet, so that was just my first listen, very vanilla, #1 for 13 weeks, bizarre. It doesn't offend my ears, but as has been said so many times already, it's instantly forgettable. 3/10.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 15, 2016 9:09:47 GMT 1
Honestly, no words. It is the impossible to talk about a quality of song without blaming new chart rules.
The songs which spent the most weeks at number 1 are : 18 – "I Believe" by Frankie Laine 16 – "(Everything I Do) I Do It for You" by Bryan Adams 15 – "Love Is All Around" by Wet Wet Wet 15 – "One Dance" by Drake featuring Wizkid and Kyla
Will this song break eternal "I Believe" record ?
|
|
|
Post by raliverpool on Jul 15, 2016 11:11:48 GMT 1
I just don't get it. This sounds like a 2015 Bieber-esque track in search for a chorus. Whatever, you think of long running chart toppers such as I Believe; Everything I Do; Love Is All Around; Bo Rhap; I Will Always Love You; Umbrella; etc .... they all had memorable hooks to them. This is not a bad record, but it is more of a 2016 EDM vanilla record. I just don't get why this is so popular compared to its contemporary long running chart hits by Justin Timberlake; & Kungs & Cookin' On 3 Burners. If only something could "rise" out of the water to put a stop to its chart topping run: 3/10
|
|
vya
Member
Posts: 8,774
|
Post by vya on Jul 17, 2016 23:54:05 GMT 1
At first I thought - unobjectionable background music. But then, on further listens, as with "Hotline Bling", I realised how intensely catchy this is. The understated production with the occasional piano chords in the background have a certain charm and spaciousness. It is not much of a song - it's clearly all about the groove and the repetition - while Drake's nasal (and/or electronically modified) tones are also a bit of an acquired taste. The rawness and emptiness is one of the strongest points in the record's favour - I'm getting the feel (though not exactly the same sound) of house white labels I used to hear on pirate stations in East London way back in the early 90s. It's not horrible - but not obviously a record one might expect to find at number one for quite so many weeks as it has been. But yeah I kind of quite like it.
7/10
|
|
smokeyb
Member
Posts: 23,996
ONLINE
|
Post by smokeyb on Jul 18, 2016 22:17:02 GMT 1
I listened to this just now for the first time, managed to avoid it up until now. To me it has nothing about it that would make me remember it 10 minutes later. I cannot believe that this song is likely to become the longest number 1 in the UK chart history, it defies all logic to all the great songs of the last 70 years. Maybe I'm just an old fogey,but I suppose today's kids get the number ones they deserve. Will this song be remembered in 30 years time as a classic number one........I doubt it will be remembered in 5 years.
I have already forgotten it in the time it has taken me to type this.
0/10
|
|
|
Post by Earl Purple on Jul 18, 2016 23:15:01 GMT 1
It's good that you managed to find the real official video as there are fakes for it.
In any case: really this number one for 14 weeks? 2/10 if I'm generous. In reality I'd rather listen to Shaddup You Face than this.
|
|
SheriffFatman
Member
Been spending most our lives living in the Cheshire countryside
Posts: 10,892
|
Post by SheriffFatman on Jul 19, 2016 0:00:13 GMT 1
It is a truly hilarious representation of the chaos that One Dance has wreaked on the usual stable equilibrium of Haven that it is simultaneously number one in the weekly charts and old enough to have its own dedicated thread in the Retro Lounge. Personally I've been on a bit of a One Dance journey. I am not at all anti-Drake, both Hold On We're Going Home and Hotline Bling are still regulars on my iPod, both great records. However One Dance isn't like either of them, and when I first listened to it, after it had been number one for a couple of weeks, I couldn't see the point. It didn't seemed like anything actually happened, really it had a low key sound to it to the point where it was barely even there at all. Over the weeks though I've come to see that as the whole point. The almost entirely absent hook is actually incredibly catchy and once it gets you it's hard to shake. I'm now convinced this level of subtlety is incredibly clever, and really at the forefront of the zeitgeist where modern music is concerned. This is the sound of the future. I am also finding the almost vein-popping level of debate on Haven about the quality of the track and the nature by which it has managed its incredible chart feat highly entertaining. There is almost no one to argue with, the people of Haven are virtually united on the track being unworthy of any time at number one, let alone 14 weeks. One of the most frustrating things for them is that no one is defending it, but really why should they? The people who like it are busy listening to it and do not need to justify their tastes to anyone. Most hilarious of all is the notion that long chart runs are sacred, and the preserve of the likes of Wet Wet Wet and Bryan Adams. Let's be honest here, both of their chart topping behemoths are dreadful and neither has stood the test of time. The idea that they set a high water mark in terms of quality is absurd, and I think to say One Dance deserves its place amongst them would actually be to do it a disservice. One final point - and I must admit I do half expect to get shouted at here but it's a point I wanted to make - I can't help thinking the One Dance backlash is part of a larger long term dislike of the genre. I think people who enjoy following the charts begrudgingly accepted a long time ago that so called "urban" music, and hip hop in particular, was a feature of the charts that wasn't going away. They were never prepared for it to actually take over though. The record books have always been the preserve of middle of the road white acts who appeal to middle of the road white consumers, but suddenly, somehow, music that those people actively dislike is the most popular in the country. I think it reflects both the ageing of the community of people who care about the charts and the changing nature of British society. As Bob Dylan said... Don't criticise what you can't understand Your sons and your daughters are beyond your command Your old road is rapidly agein' Please get out of the new one if you can't lend your hand For the times they are a-changin'
|
|
SheriffFatman
Member
Been spending most our lives living in the Cheshire countryside
Posts: 10,892
|
Post by SheriffFatman on Jul 19, 2016 13:01:14 GMT 1
Just realised I didn't give it marks out of 10, although I'm probably disqualified anyway as I've written 7 paragraphs (8 including this one...). For the record, I'll go with 7. It's good but not brilliant.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 19, 2016 13:25:39 GMT 1
I think the way to look at people's reaction to this long run is that traditionally the chart has been based on what people bought that week NOT what they liked or were still playing on their record or cd players 4 months later Drake has come along and ripped up the traditional idea that it was buy it and it charts that week that was your contribution, if you bought Bryan Adams on his first week in the chart you were not contributing 19 or 20 weeks later when he was knocked off of No.1. Drake has come along and virtually changed the concept of 60 years and it is hard for some to accept that change. We now have a chart based on what you are listening to now, not what you bought a few weeks ago and for some this will never be right. I personally wouldn't have minded seeing any of the songs kept off the top by Drake at No.1 for 10 or more weeks I think Calvin Harris/Rihanna has been shamefully left sitting in the top 3 without most people batting an eyelid as Justin & The Kungs were getting all the come ons. I think both sides have to accept that some people will only want to see sales and others will think streaming is the future, for me it is interesting to see what people actually like at the moment rather than what they bought but something needs to be done to give newer songs a chance.
|
|
|
Post by Earl Purple on Jul 19, 2016 15:24:54 GMT 1
"Love Is All Around" was a rather dull cover version but it had merit. Well it had a tune, and decent lyrics, and was performed by people who were musically competent albeit a lot less exciting than they had been when they first appeared on the scene 7 years earlier.
"Everything I Do (I Do It For You)" is quite a good soft-rock song.
And Rihanna's "Umbrella" had a long run at #1, I think it was 10 weeks. Not really into R&B but that song clearly also had merit. And that's "urban".
|
|
TheThorne
Member
*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
Posts: 27,395
ONLINE
|
Post by TheThorne on Jul 19, 2016 16:54:48 GMT 1
I dont think there has been much hate I just think it is a nothing record example yes I prefer white boy's and girls with guitars and I think globalisation and immigration had totally changed the identity and sound of UK music for good and bad
But this sound is bland nothing to do with the fact I don't like urban , I can listen plenty urban hits I have liked but I would if I had a choice get rid of all of it. But really that Designer track in the top 20 has more new ideas in 20 secs than this song has in its whole 2.5 mins.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 20, 2016 14:19:04 GMT 1
In reality I'd rather listen to Shaddup You Face than this. If I remember correctly "Shaddup" is your least favourite UK # 1 from 80s.
|
|
|
Post by Earl Purple on Jul 20, 2016 14:28:13 GMT 1
No, only from 1981, the Grandma one is worse than it, and so is Jive Bunny's "Let's Party".
|
|
|
Post by Earl Purple on Jul 20, 2016 14:36:07 GMT 1
I prefer white boy's and girls with guitars I like black people with guitars too - like TV on the Radio. And in the past Roachford...
|
|
TheThorne
Member
*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
Posts: 27,395
ONLINE
|
Post by TheThorne on Jul 20, 2016 15:02:30 GMT 1
I prefer white boy's and girls with guitars I like black people with guitars too - like TV on the Radio. And in the past Roachford... Its just a figure of speech , obviously i like singers with different ethiticity that make rock and indie music like Bloc Party for example
|
|
vastar iner
Member
I am the poster on your wall
Posts: 17,402
|
Post by vastar iner on Jul 20, 2016 21:32:26 GMT 1
It's just a nothing. The backing is entirely computer-produced and repeats on the same eight second loop throughout. Even the rapping is autotuned. There's no interesting lyric to speak of, there's no hook, there's nothing of any interest whatsoever. It's just ambient music. It's almost impossible to hate because there's nothing there to hate; it's like saying you hate nitrogen. But because it is so boring, dull, unimaginative, vanilla, beige, anaemic, a profduct of management and marketing rather than power, passion and emotion, it's impossible to give it any points at all. 0/10.
|
|
|
Post by Deleted on Jul 21, 2016 9:57:56 GMT 1
Anyone who still doesn't think the record company are plotting this single week by week, it is rumoured the official video for the song will be released next week, just in time for the 16th week..hmmmm
|
|