LT
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Post by LT on Sept 6, 2018 15:05:21 GMT 1
Cher Lloyd Swagger Jagger - easily one of the worst for me! whatever happened to her? what is a swagger jagger anyway?
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 6, 2018 15:12:39 GMT 1
Ouch! And that’s only for number 50. I wouldn’t be quite as scathing about McFly but that’s not really relevant. I like the general style of your write-up, including a degree of context. Are you going to mention the songs held off the top by your list of horrors? There is, of course, one example where it would be almost impossible not to mention what was kept from number one (even though that song was at number two for a week before the offending release climbed to the top). Yeah, the general chart action at the time will come up in relation to a few entries on the list, not every time though. It's not always relevant - sometimes there's a shocking injustice, other times the song at number 2 isn't much better.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 6, 2018 15:20:37 GMT 1
You just dislike novelty or/and cheesy songs. "Save Your Love" was # 8 in my favourite UK # 1s list. I don't completely agree. There are many high profile novelty records which haven't made the list - Lily The Pink, The Chicken Song, Star Trekkin'. Novelty records aren't always bad. Regarding "cheesy songs" though - I guess what is and is not cheesy is a matter of opinion, but I do tend to see the word "cheesy" as a synonym for "bad". I think you may want to avoid my review of Save Your Love, it's not kind.
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Post by FloMinogue on Sept 6, 2018 21:01:20 GMT 1
I have an unhealthy obsession with Sak Noel’s “Loca People” & have been playing it a LOT recently It’s the only one on the list I’d remove. And maybe Blurred Lines too
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 6, 2018 22:00:37 GMT 1
Both good songs, and I seem to recall a trend at the time to have a double A-side listing a new song and a cover version.
However by 2007 downloads were also counting towards the chart, so when someone downloaded Transylvania or Baby's Coming Back alone, I guess it would have counted. And if two different people downloaded one each that would count as 2 sales, but what happened if the same person downloaded both? Was it double-counted?
I am among those who did download both, and did so on the week of release because that's when most singles were bought. I already knew Baby's Coming Back from the Jellyfish original, which was a single in 1991 (not 1990) and the fcllow-up to "The King Is Half Undressed" but wasn't a top 40 hit after its predecessor had narrowly scraped into the top 40. It got a fair amount of airplay but somehow wasn't a hit.
In my chart that McFly single made a very slow climb to number 5. So it did take time to gain my liking but then did so.
McFly was, from what I had read, made up of members who had auditioned for Busted but didn't make it. They were my 14th most successful act of the 2000s, and far more successful in my chart than Busted. Neither achieved a #1 hit in my chart though.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 6, 2018 22:12:00 GMT 1
Actually downloads of Transylvania counted separately, and had their own 5 week chart run, peaking at 80 Something.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 11, 2018 10:21:33 GMT 1
Earl Purple many thanks for the correction re Jellyfish and 1991!
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 11, 2018 10:21:52 GMT 1
49 – Mr Blobby by Mr Blobby The British entertainment industry is littered with examples of brief moments in time when what should have been an idea that came to nothing suddenly becomes an inexplicably popular, highly marketable, success. The problem in the pre-internet age was that you couldn’t make money from a concept alone, you needed something physical that people could hold in their hands if you were going to get some cash out of them. On far too many occasions, the decision was made to release a single.
Mr Blobby, like so many artists in this list, has his roots in Saturday night TV. A large, wobbly, spongy plastic mess, with a grinning face and googly eyes like the ones you can buy in Hobbycraft but much bigger, he was pink with yellow spots and could only say the word “blobby”. Ironically, he started out as a children’s TV spoof, used in the “Gotcha” section of Noel’s House Party to dupe celebrities into believing he was a real, established character. It was a deliberately stupid concept – the whole joke was that faced with a convincing scenario in the studio the unwitting celebrities would believe it, but to the public watching at home Mr Blobby would be so absurd, the thought of anyone believing he could be a real TV character would be hysterical. Ultimately the joke was on the producers – they had overestimated the sophistication of the British public’s sense of humour, and Blobby did indeed become hugely popular. No doubt they consoled themselves with the enormous amounts of money they could now make from pink and yellow tat.
The single itself is something of a mystery, in that, perhaps understandably, virtually all contributions were anonymous. The vocals are largely handled by female singers, but fortunately for them history does not seem to have recorded who they are. The writing credit was given as Phillip Raxter, who the full weight of global research (a quick Google search) seems to suggest is an Automotive Professional from Marietta, Georgia. Assuming it’s not him, it seems that whoever created this monstrosity made a concerted effort not to be traced.
Clearly the whole concept behind this single’s release is absolutely bloody awful, but it would be interesting to trace the lyricist who gave us such contradictions as “no end to his talents, no sense of balance”, and who felt that “Blobby, Mr Blobby, if humanity’s a question of degree / Blobby, Mr Blobby, stay loyal to your blobby pedigree” was not too deep for a novelty record. Strangeness can often be a positive quality in pop music, but this song combines strange with very bad.
Spewed at great speed towards the 1993 Christmas market, Mr Blobby by Mr Blobby reached number one 3 weeks before the big day. The following week it conceded the top spot to Babe by Take That; truly these were dark times in the history of the top 2. To everyone’s utter astonishment though, on Christmas week itself, Mr Blobby became the first single since the 1960s to climb back to the top of the charts, managing 3 weeks at the top in total and giving the UK one of its worst Christmas number ones ever, and that is a very competitive field. Two years later the follow up, Christmas In Blobbyland, mercifully stopped at number 36, and his musical career was over.
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Post by suedehead on Sept 11, 2018 14:49:05 GMT 1
If he’d called himself Ranxter, at least that would have made him Pranxter.
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 11, 2018 21:49:15 GMT 1
The person who actually created the Mr Blobby character got paid nothing in royalties for the success as he was an employee of the BBC and therefore all creations were owned by them.
I think Noel Edmonds though did make quite a lot of money out of it.
Rather unfair, really.
With regards to Christmas 1993 though, I can't say there were any particularly great songs kept off number one by the few that were up there. There just weren't many great singles out. I had the re-issue of "The Power Of Love" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood as my Christmas number one.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 17, 2018 9:42:26 GMT 1
48 – Babe by Take That Take That are one of a few acts since the dawning of pop who have become so much a part of the UK’s national consciousness that summarising their early days and how they came to be a chart force is hardly necessary. They are by no means universally bad either, indeed a couple of their chart toppers were amongst the best pop singles of the 90s, and early in their career some of their covers were inspired modern updates of long forgotten pop gems.
Deep down though, we all know that they’ve also done an awful lot of crap. The primary reason appears to be that chief song writer Gary Barlow has a belief in his own talent which far outstrips his ability. In an inexplicable, lightning strike moment of intense creativity he gave the world the wonderful Back For Good, but most of the time he plinky-plonks away on a piano with all the emotional intelligence and lyrical ability of a depressed 14 year old who doesn’t understand why girls don’t like him.
With Babe he seems to have consciously decided to try to write a story. The problem is, when writing a song that’s a story you have an extra dimension to consider, and when you’re not all that good at writing songs in the first place it’s going to be even more difficult. In this case Barlow does manage to get the narrative across, but seems to forget the need for a tune in the process, leaving a hapless Mark Owen trying to carry this flimsy series of events, in which no one would be interested anyway, with virtually nothing to support him. They did seem to choose him as vocalist when songs needed an extra boost from his boyish good looks to justify their existence, and Christ did this one need a boost.
In the story itself, a man tries to contact an old flame, is given her number, goes to her house and discovers she has a child that looks suspiciously like him. That’s it, there is no more to it whatsoever. It’s dull, uninspired, and badly written. With the apparently teenage Owen on vocals it’s also not very believable, and treads a path which many other pop and rock records have worn with far more impact in the past.
Aiming such a dreadful release at the Christmas market was an act of supreme arrogance, driven by a certainty that the public would lap up whatever crap Take That threw at them, even at the best selling time of year. Thus, the one and only genuinely funny aspect of Mr Blobby’s musical career was that the record he shocked everyone by bouncing over to reclaim the number 1 spot for Christmas 1993 was marginally even worse than his own. Gary Barlow’s humiliation at being beaten to the top by a ball of pink and yellow blubber was richly deserved.
The mistake of course had been to release 2 weeks before Christmas and assume that they could simply cruise towards the festive top spot. It was an error the music industry never repeated – Simon Cowell’s dreary domination of the Christmas number one in years to come was always supported by releases 1 week before the big day.
Incidentally, in his excellent book about the demise of independent record retailers, Last Shop Standing, former record plugger Graham Young claims that Babe was the victim of a campaign by record shop owners in the North-East who took advantage of odds of 12:1 on Mr Blobby getting a festive chart topper. These were still the days when the charts were based on easily manipulated physical sales data, and he reckons there was a lot of festive cheer in some shops when Mr Blobby was announced victor. Either way, the public were the losers, whatever the outcome a truly rotten festive chart topper was guaranteed.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Sept 19, 2018 17:58:59 GMT 1
I will never disrespect Mr Blobby's single for making me a few bob when I was a student - I remember Music Week saying that "Babe" had only just taken the top spot, and, as it was a fanbase buy, I expected it to drop.
But as a novelty song it's really interesting, it has several changes of pace and key, and parodies various different styles. It actually stands up quite well.
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Post by Whitneyfan on Sept 19, 2018 18:15:31 GMT 1
The person who actually created the Mr Blobby character got paid nothing in royalties for the success as he was an employee of the BBC and therefore all creations were owned by them. I think Noel Edmonds though did make quite a lot of money out of it. Rather unfair, really. With regards to Christmas 1993 though, I can't say there were any particularly great songs kept off number one by the few that were up there. There just weren't many great singles out. I had the re-issue of "The Power Of Love" by Frankie Goes To Hollywood as my Christmas number one. I wanted Dina Carroll's 'Perfect Year' to be #1 that Christmas.
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 20, 2018 0:30:53 GMT 1
Perfect Year actually reached my #1 just after Christmas, followed by Inspiral Carpets with Saturn Five and D:Ream's re-issue of Things Can Only Get Better
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Post by Deleted on Sept 20, 2018 8:40:34 GMT 1
Easy solution for perfect Christmas UK # 1 in 1993 year was ....
Saint Etienne - I Was Born On Christmas Day
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 20, 2018 10:25:39 GMT 1
Saint Etienne would have been a far better #1 than either of the two that were up there at the time.
The actual top 10 that week was:
1(2) Mr Blobby - Mr Blobby 2(1) Take That - Babe 3(4) Chaka Demus & Pliers (ft Jack Radics & Taxi Gang) - Twist And Shout 4(5) Bee Gees - For Whom The Bell Tolls 5(7) East 17 - It's Alright 6(3) Meat Loaf - I'd Do Anything For Love (But I Won't Do That) 7(10) Dina Carroll - The Perfect Year 8(11) Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell 9(6) Elton John & Kiki Dee - True Love 10(!5) Frankie Goes To Hollywood - The Powr OF Love
Saint Etienne was only #37. That it only entered the UK top 40 on Christmas week is a big factor as to why it did relatively badly in my chart. It was #41 the week before but really I like to chart my Christmas hits from the start of December.
The song by the artist at #5 that week was alright, like the title says. But of course next year they'd achieve glory, at the expense of the diva stalled at #18 this week with "Hero" with a single that was going down having peaked at #7 in November.
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Post by o on Sept 20, 2018 12:53:57 GMT 1
Perfect Year actually reached my #1 just after Christmas, followed by Inspiral Carpets with Saturn Five and D:Ream's re-issue of Things Can Only Get Better And this is relevant how?
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 20, 2018 13:13:00 GMT 1
I think D:Ream was the next UK #1 after Twist And Shout which is #3 in the UK chart above, which I thought was also a pretty poor cover, and probably nobody even remembers they got to #1 with it.
Some people may remember "Tease Me" which was one of many reggae hits of 1993 in a year dominated by that genre.
But that there was such a great Inspiral Carpets song out in early 1994 shows that there was good music around, but it wasn't hitting #1.
"Twist And Shout" isn't on the list, probably because SheriffFatman forgot it got to #1.
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Post by Earl Purple on Sept 20, 2018 14:20:29 GMT 1
On that week in the middle of May 2007, this is what McFly was keeping off the top:
1(-) McFly - Baby's Coming Back / Transylvania 2(1) Beyonce & Shakira - Beautiful Liar 3(11) Akon - Don't Matter 4(3) Gym Class Heroes - Cupid's Chokehold 5(-) Scooch - Flying The Flag (For You) 6(17) Linkin Park - What I've Done 7(4) Timbaland & Nelly Furtado & Justin Timberlake - Give It To Me 8(2) Manic Street Preachers ft Nina Persson - Your Love Alone Is Not Enough 9(5) Avril Lavigne - Girlfriend 10(13) Amerie - Take Control
What should have been number one (had the public had better taste)
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 24, 2018 11:58:59 GMT 1
47 – You’ll Never Walk Alone by The Crowd We all know the story of Band Aid. Sitting at home in 1984 watching telly, Bob Geldof saw a report by the BBC’s Michael Burke on the appalling famine in Ethiopia, and was moved to encourage the music industry to do something about it. Along with Midge Ure he wrote Do They Know It’s Christmas and encouraged rock luminaries from all over the world into the studio to record a line each. It was a multi-million seller, a moment in pop history, and a genuinely excellent pop record which has endured ever since.
What they couldn’t have known at the time is that they were creating a monster, and in fact a new but never celebrated genre. There are no compilation albums marking these releases, no Now That’s What I Call A One Line Each Charity Record, but there are easily enough to fill one. Ever since Band Aid, the entertainment industry’s default response to unexpected tragedy has been a bad cover version.
On 11th May 1985, a small fire broke out under the Valley Parade Stadium while Bradford City played a third division match at home to Lincoln City. Within four minutes the antiquated stadium which was scheduled for demolition was engulfed in flames; 56 people died and approximately 265 were injured. The world of football and indeed the whole nation went into shock. The legacy of this terrible incident was incredibly far reaching, it directly led to changes in fire safety laws, and some have attributed the subsequent middle-classification of football to a deliberate attempt to inject the kind of money into the sport which would mean the conditions which lead to all this suffering could never happen again.
In the immediate aftermath of the fire, the community’s first reaction was to attempt to provide financially for the affected families, many of which had to come to terms not only with their grief but also the practical reality of having lost their main earner.
With Band Aid only five months old, and an American version called We Are The World by USA For Africa having topped the charts too, could the record buying public’s generosity be called upon again? Of course it could. Those two big charity chart toppers had both been new material, but with speed of the essence and Gerry Marsden offering not just approval but vocals too, Gerry & the Pacemakers’ version of the football favourite You’ll Never Walk Alone was replicated note for note, with frankly anyone who was remotely famous and could spare the time on vocals.
To judge the subsequent recording from a musical point of view would of course be to spectacularly miss the point, this was purely a vehicle for fund raising, not an attempt at great artistry. This meant it was also something new for the pop charts. For many years records had done well despite being dreadful, but they had always been there in the charts because although they didn’t stand up to scrutiny they did actually appeal in some way to the people buying them. Now, for the first time ever, the chart compilers were documenting the success of a record that no one anywhere was being asked to actually like, just to buy. Even the list of artists taking part, a mixture of has beens, minor acts and celebrities who were not even pop artists, would be unlikely to appeal to anyone, but it didn’t matter. Quite rightly, people bought it anyway.
It would be wrong to be critical of such a worthy cause, but it would also be wrong not to include this version of You’ll Never Walk Alone in a list of the 50 worst number ones, it’s awful. It was also a catalyst for many similar efforts which had varying success. Chart topping examples include three more recordings of Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aids II, 20 and 30; Let It Be following the Zeebrugge ferry disaster; Ferry ‘Cross The Mersey after Hillsborough; Love Can Build A Bridge for Comic Relief; and Everybody Hurts after an earthquake in Haiti; all of which are various shades of dreadful. They have also, over the years, prompted many cynical questions about how much money or awareness is really raised by charity singles, and how much they are a vehicle to promote the artists involved.
In an entirely unexpected twist, in July 2017, following the appalling Grenfell Tower tragedy in London, a genuinely good version of Bridge Over Troubled Water by Artists for Grenfell topped the charts. The early signs were not good – it was Simon Cowell’s idea, recording was delayed by a day in a failed attempt to encourage Celine Dion to take part – but the end result was admirable in every way. Modern sounding and well produced, the most striking feature was how rapper Stormzy’s contribution directly addressed, in a humble and moving way, the tragedy itself. It seemed a new generation of young artists who were personally very affected by an appalling incident in a building which looked like the kind of place they might have grown up, were actually able to express that by means of a well-chosen cover version. There is hope for this much maligned genre yet.
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