The Warnock Quiz

[Robin]

This has apparently been written by a Sheffield United fan!

The Warnock Quiz

1. You are comfortably clear of the chasing promotion pack, with a settled side crusing to promotion. In the january transfer window you look to strengthen your squad, do you:

A) Scout around for an even mix of defenders, midfielders and strikers to ensure that all positions are covered?

B) Just go for some young talented up and coming players, who will be an asset in future years?

C) Squander thousands of pounds of the clubs money tossing it off going on stupid fruitless scouting jaunts to Portugal and Israel, forget signing any promising youngsters and instead spent millions Signing four big aging strikers with no resale value whatsoever and then faff around with the team everyweek, upsetting everyone trying to accomodate them all?

2. Your constant tinkering is upsetting the balance of the squad, at the start of the season you had a solid settled starting line up, now you are chopping and changing and wonder what to do, do you:

A) Select your strongest line up and stick with it, knowing that this sort of cohesion and togetherness will build a solid team which will gain results.

B) Rotate certain players, make sure there is some creativity on the bench incase things don't go as well as expected.

C) Make 6 changes to the starting line up every game, mess around with tactics (albeit non existant ones) formation and squad selection every match, and make sure that nobody has a ****ing clue where or how they are supposed to be playing.

3. Your star midfielder has been awarded. by many other respected proffesionals in the game, the honour of being crowned 'Championship player of the year'. For your next game do you:

A) Play him in his honoured midfield role.

B) You are having some defensive problems, so play him in his equally strong fullback position. Afterall he is a man of many talents.

C) Play him at rightback, where he has never played before and dosent really know what he is doing.

4. After a home defeat and a draw against the worst away side in the country, your promotion hopes are starting to look a little fragile, luckily the draw was on a Friday night, so you have the whole of saturday free, do you:

A) Use this time to your advantage and scout on your next opponents who are playing the next day.

B) Call in your players for an impromptu training session and try and boost confidence and morale.

C) Forget your current job and do a bit of punditry on BBC 1 and give your 'expert' views on a Premiership game.

5. You need to pick a formation for your next game, do you:

A) Stick with 4-4-2 which has served your so well for most of the season.

B) Stick with 4-4-2, but perhaps have a midfielder in a more attacking role playing behind the strikers.

C) Experiment with a revolutionary, and as yet unseen and untested 4-3-3 system with no wingers at all, instead just aimlessly run at defenders, and perhaps use your strikers to cross balls in, albeit cross them into empty space as they are all playing as wingers.

6. Your side loses a game at home, you were winning quite comfortably until you made a totally stupid substitution, moved everyone out of position to accomodate it, and then lost the plot, do you:

A) Take responsiblity for your error like a man.

B) Blame it on the refferee, afterall, nobody likes those *****s.

C) Blame it on the fans, who obviously have everything to do with your constant ****ing about.

7. You accidentally sign a player who is in fact a ghost, he does not have any solid appendages and can walk through walls and stuff like that, this is quite embarassing as clearly this person can't kick a ball or tackle or do anything really being of the 'spirit world', do you:

A) Send him to the reserves, and hope to god nobody notices.

B) Let him sit on the bench, afterall he isn't going to take up much space.

C) Play him everyweek instead of your star midfielder, reconfigure the whole team to accomodate him, And hope that this will create an illusion that the player is still alive, even though people are begining to notice that he dosen't do anything and has never touched the ball once.

8. Your best defender acts like a silly ***** and gets sent off one match, you decide, being the kind of stand up guy you are, to slag him off in public, after this the player is obviously a bit peeved, do you.

A) Make up with him, for the good of the team, everyone ****s up, and you should know being the king of it.

B) Ensure that he knows you are ****ed off, but bring him back into the fold as soon as his suspension runs out, afterall your team could do with him at the back.

C) Refuse to play him again, don't even name him on the bench, have a massive fall out with him and let him just walk out of the club. Afterall you did the same thing with Danny Cullip, and as we all know, fights in the dressing room improve team morale, as we can see after the success of the 2003 play-off final where you managed to **** off your assistant manager before hand so much he walked out.

9. You accidentally sign too many strikers, now you have a dilemma when it comes to picking the side, do you.

A) Carry on with the same front two that got you to where you are in the league in the first place, after all they have done nothing wrong.

B) Give the new blood some time to establish themselves by giving them a run out from the bench.

C) Chop and change and panic to try and accomdate everyone, drop the only signing that looked any good and continue with your old Multi-million pound
striker became you spent to much money on him, and it would make you look a total tit for not picking him after he cost so much money, even though he now looks so frightened he literally couldnt wait to get off the pitch in your last game. Don't allow any of your old strikers to go out to find new clubs, just carry on with 10 disaffected strikers not getting a shirt, having there confidence wrecked and not knowing when or what they have to do to next get a shirt.

10. Your club has spent millions on a new academy, it is producing some talented players, do you:

A) Give the lads a chance when there are injuries and suspensions

B) Give them a run out from the subs bench to boost confidence

C) Make sure they know they never have a chance of ever breaking into the starting squad by signing lots of hasbeens who will get a shirt before them, then loan them off to Rotherham and Boston.

11. Your team is hitting relegation form, and it's putting a big dent in your promotion chances, do you:

A) Ride it out, carry on with what you were doing in the first place.

B) Change the team around a bit, drop the underperfoming players, but generally keep the nucleus the same.

C) Panic like a 13 year old in a brothel.

If you answered C) for every question you win a copy of Warnocks self publicising DVD 'Warnock' a documentary about himself, for himself, by himself.

[Admin]

Nice! I guess they are a little peeved

[Dj]

Haha! brilliant!

Warnock is such a w**ker though! Brilliant!

Ha

[Razzle Dazzle]

lol funny stuff

[Senior]

It's so funny, all the Blades are on Radio Sheffield every night wanting him fired!!

[Robin]

senior said:

It's so funny, all the Blades are on Radio Sheffield every night wanting him fired!!

Blimey!! That's NOT what you'd expect from a team 2nd in the league!

[Tom]

No its not, strange how things can turn, I knew that signing all those strikers was a mistake, I didnt know any of the other problems, tho they do have a habit of cocking up at the end of the season, just look at this taken from a Reading fan site *sniggers*

Special Report - Sheffield United and Choking

Shefield United's results in their last 10 League games each season:
2005/06 so far - P2 W0 D1 L1 Pts 1 (much much worse than relegation form - even Brighton & Hove Albion would be disappointed with this)
2004/05 - P10 W3 D4 L3 Pts 13 (below mid-table form)
2003/04 - P10 W3 D3 L4 Pts 12 (slightly better than relegation form)
2002/03 - P10 W4 D3 L3 Pts 15 (incredibly almost mid-table form)
2001/02 - P10 W3 D2 L5 Pts 11 (relegation form)
2000/01 - P10 W3 D3 L4 Pts 12 (slightly better than relegation form)
1999/2000 - P10 W1 D4 L5 Pts 7 (much worse than relegation form)

Sheffield United's play-off record:
1987/88 - LOST in the semi-finals
1996/97 - LOST in the final
1997/98 - LOST in the semi-finals
2002/03 - LOST in the final
2005/06 - LOST in

[Razzle Dazzle]

must be something to do with teams playing in red and white

sunderland 2 wins in 40 premiership games lol, none at home *also sniggers*

[Razzle Dazzle]

ohh and it makes a change from reading choking in 2004/05, 2005/06

[Tom]

Um yes