vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Jul 6, 2019 16:04:11 GMT 1
Kirsty MacColl's original of "They Don't Know" missed the charts because of a distribution strike. I've got four Terrys on the vaspod.
One that still astounds me that it never made the chart...
...I think one reason why Birmingham has never really come up with a superstar DJ is because we don't need to waste money on having someone fill the dancefloor. Because just stick this on and the place goes mucking fental.
Remained in print for a long time because it was a consistent seller.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 30, 2019 11:33:36 GMT 1
14/7. Mayo & Davies. A band who are living up to their name. Climb-ie Fisher. Maybe living more up to their song title.
New entry at 13. Tiffany, who has been getting ludicrous amounts of publicity by performing in shopping centres. She's singing live on Septic TOTP, which might be a mistake given she is flat as a fart. Is she really 14? She looks double that. Crap.
Davies basically blows out how little imagination samplers are using, Krush. Bizarre bouncy dance from the singer. There are only about six words and they don't make sense.
Charts. Dollar? LOL. Using GOSH as a springboard. Pic of Beatmasters but not Cookie Crew. GOSH still climbing, they'll be no. 1 in 1990 at this rate. Accadacca maybe heading for their first top 10?
Morris Minor at no. 4 and in the studio. Hm, thought that might have been higher.
Breakers. The Christians with what Davies calls a gorgeous record. He's not wrong. This is indeed lovely. Their best by a distance. AC/DC, it's unmistakably them. Brian's vocals really suit the band, it makes them sound louder than they are. Second highest new entry deserves a full play, surely?
Terence "Trout" D'arby. See above.
Top 10. Stranglers might get a no.1 out of their anaemic cover at last. PSBs off the top but holding up well against a lot of challengers. Belinda Carlisle at no. 1 and from Yank of the Pops. She sings better than Tiffany.
Finish with George Michael, because obvs TOTP wants to suck up to him as much as poss.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 30, 2019 9:53:03 GMT 1
7/1. Reidbates. Sinitta with a couple of martial artists. She's dressed as a sort of messenger girl strippogram. Look, I get that she is hot as f***, but what sentient being with a level of intelligence barely above that of pond scum would buy this utter cack?
Jellybean. "Jingo". Chart position &c are running below the screen on a scroll now, on vids. I really can't be doing with this.
For some inane reason they are playing Sinitta behind the presenters twixt songs. Depeche Mode. They've not bothered with a tune this time. It's all one the one note. All atmosphere rather than music. If they can't be bothered, neither can I.
Charts. Jellybean is at 17 and 16. They've double a-sided Ghastly to get some pointless boost.
Stranglers at 19. It's a Kinks cover. And is almost exactly like the original, only without the rawness, the power, and the daring. What a f***ing waste.
Breakerinos. George Michael. With a very low entry. The gig is up perhaps because this is utter sh*te. Really cute model in the Louise Brooks bob though. GOSH. Bonnie Langford. David van Day. Two blondes I totally don't recognize. Boy George with a black singer ditto. Some bloke I don't recognize. Therese Bazarr. Is that Huey Lewis? Sylvester McCoy, random. Langford can't even mime without emoting. Nod plus an unknown brunette. That was rubbish. Terence Trout d'Arby. This is better, moody and brooding, Prince-esque.
Top 10. Morris Minor up 23. That was the most requested song on No Limits ever. Belinda Carlisle at 2, maybe next week? Playout is Joyce Sims with something yuppieish.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 23, 2019 18:25:14 GMT 1
Little Eva's backing group joined the 50 Club with this one penned by Eva's employers Goffin & King. The song is perhaps more notable for being the first one The Beatles recorded with George on lead. Lead singer Earl-Jean McCrea recorded a solo single that also had a later, more notable cover version - "I'm Into Something Good".
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 23, 2019 13:12:18 GMT 1
From the year music forgot. They were not a family and none of them was called Ritchie. They took their name from producer Richie [sic] Rome. And were not a real group. They were a studio creation put together by Jacques Morali, who used the lessons from this to create The Village People.
This was ahead of its time. May have been a bigger hit in the medley craze of 1981.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 21, 2019 18:52:07 GMT 1
Last day of 1987. Powell and Davies. We start with Krush and a very bad set of dance moves. This is all a bit meh. It's like they've taken the hook out of a dance choon.
Nat King Cole still climbing. It's the sort of song that makes one long for the coming of rock & roll, but his voice is just sumptuous.
Climie Fisher. Well, this is a bit different. Almost blissed out. The visuals don't match the sound. Powell rates "Love Changes Everything" by them and hopes it will be released.
Belinda Carlisle on vid. Great key-change.
Top 40. Minipops at 39, well after their Channel 4 peak, before they were taken off for being a paedophile fantasy (one thing for Annabella Lwin to look seductive at 16, but a seven year old imitating her? Oog.) Peter Auty getting the hit Aled Jones stole from him, and a sleb charity single that does not barge the charts. Morris Minor & The Majors. This is an uber Christmas chart.
Morris Minor & The Majors in the studio. Which is Morris? On the right. With Phil Errup and Rusty Wing. It's a p*sstake of the Beasties. Quite funny too. There was a debate on Blue Suede Views (Channel 4's brilliant music text) about whether this was insulting to stammerers. Sort of missing the joke. Chuck a can. Genius.
Cher. Wearing clothes that are acceptable on Wendy James. Not interested. WWW. Pfft.
Top ten. PSBs are no. 1. Hm, ima bit sceptical it's outsold The Pogues for real, must be something to do with the Christmas bank hols.
Playout Mel & Kim, even though they're not going to sell much now. For some reason joined half-way through. Kim looking so cute.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 16, 2019 11:39:39 GMT 1
I'm still in 1987. One hundred years before an overture. Read looking like Buddy Holly and Davies. Wet Wet Wet with a blatant Christmas smoochie number. Appalling.
Simply Red. Ditto.
Straight into the charts then because that was one of the worst openings of TOTP ever. Wally Jump Jr? Isn't that Arthur Baker? New Order looking like hair metallers, lol. Nat King Cole at 20, comeback. "Former Go-Go" at 19. Wish they were still together. Lots of Christmas contenders dying early.
The Pogues get an airing this time. Read likes it. MacGowan is barely miming. And eff knows what he's doing with the piano. This is...epic. Absolutely epic. Could this be no. 1?
Breakers. Level 42 in Paris. This is rather bouncy. Not very commercial so they've done well to get it into the charts. Video is vaguely homoerotic in a yuppie sort of way. Nat King Cole, his voice is purest distilled velvet isn't it? Ghastly must be so jealous.
Highest new entry, and TOTP keep pimping their US version, for LA-based Carlisle. Singing live. She's had plastic surgery. Hm, I think I preferred the natural version. This is quite Go-Go-y power indiepop, a bit more stadium. Good times.
Top 10. Jellybean is in twice. Bad planning. Mel & Kim might be contenders. Jacko has blown his bolt. And so now has Ghastly, thank Buddah. PSB's at no. 1 but they can't be bothered to turn up so they use last week's.
Playout is Madonna. When there are a dozen more worthy contenders.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 14:21:52 GMT 1
10/12. Smith on his tod. Pet Shop Boys with the second highest new entry. Oh God, Ghastly is the highest, isn't he? He's going to steal the Christmas number 1 with his lack of talent. The irony of a live TOTP when one starts with PSBs who barely ever do anything other than mine. This though is a belter, a barnstormer of a cover that takes an Elvis standard into a totally new direction. Didn't know Chris Lowe was a Peterborough fan. Wonder what's on his pooter screen? Raw Sex thought it was "I'M A tw*t".
Jackson at 3. Proclaimers no. 1? Can't be bothered. FF. Oh f***. This must be the cheapest, most appalling pitch for Christmas no. 1 ever. There is not one possible shred of integrity in this. If you're buying this, why not buy the original? Ah. Smith says it has been released. Spoiler?
Charts. Non-mover at no. 27 is Johnny Hates Jazz. OH WHAT A SURPRISE THEY ARE ON THE f***ing SHOW. There are at least a dozen songs with better claims to being on. Why not The Pogues? They've gone from 40 to 19.
Well, at least I can scoot past Mr Payola and his mates. Breakers. Madonna with something that nobody would buy had it not got the name "Madonna" on it. Mel & Kim have the highest climber, could this be a Christmas no.1? It's great fun and Kim's looking hotstuff.
Two breakers? That's it? No Pogues? We get Alison Moyet at no. 9. Another one looking for an overdue chart-topper. This is looking to be a stacked top 10 and we know the f***ing sh*te is going to top it.
Top 10. Proclaimers DOWN? Bit of a surprise. T'Pau hanging on. They must have one hell of a seller. Playout is Jellybean because the British Broadcasting Company hates the British.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 12:01:18 GMT 1
^ Miriam Stockley was the original voice for Adiemus.
I thought Fairground Attraction would have a lengthy career. No.1 single, top ten follow-up, album only denied the no. 1 spot by the musicocide atrocity that is the lesser-talented Minogue.
Then the first single from the second album missed the chart entirely and that was basically it.
This was the fourth single from First Of A Million Kisses - should have been the third.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 11:54:49 GMT 1
The b-side was an instrumental, "Goldie", performed by The Simon Groom Band.
Oddly (or perhaps expectedly) it was not released on a label. So self-released but he did not bother even to create a fictional entity for it. Catalogue number GROOM 1, so I presume one has to credit it to Groom Records.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 2, 2019 8:44:50 GMT 1
Three (six nine) twelve. Long Davies. And on commence avec Les Hooters, a name which means little in English, but could be translated roughly as Honkers. That name is going to hold them back. This is gloriously raucous indiepoppy stadiumy satire. Heh, someone in the audience is joining in. Must have been about now there were all those scandals about lachrymose tellypreachers apologizing for their sins (tax avoidance, rampant adultery &c).
Alexander O'Neal. "I'm fed up". You called it bro.
Charts. I know where I heard this top 40. On my nan's radiogram. I remember nos 40 and 39 being brilliant and thinking "they're going to be huge". On the radio Brookes didn't even name anything about The Tams' song, not even an adulterated title, but Long don't give a sh*t, she's right in there and gives its full monicker.
Studio. Davies with a gold disc to give tothe no. 3 Proclaimers. Like a whisky, this song matures with age. I asked them to do my garden, but they said they had no mower. Ey thenk yaw. Davies tips them for the top next week.
Breakers. Def Leppard, with something charmless. None of the chutzpah of "Sugar". Cutting Crew with something COMPLETELY dire. Nice Chinese girl in the video though. Jellybean with filler and Jackson with something that has a touch of the funk to it, but not a Christmas target.
Back to the real stuff. McCartney with Nigel Kennedy looking a tw*t. He's really pitching for the Christmas no.1 but too little too late? Bloke on bass looks like the singer in Fiction Factory.
Top 10. Shaky at 7, big climb. Top 2 are the same, I see why Davies thinks it might be The Proclaimers' turn. Batman hit me with a vase. "T-PAU!!!" "Surely you mean KERPOW?" "No, you've got china in your hand". They've got the sax break this time. Maxi Priest on the playout. Bit unnecessary given what's going on in the thirties.
Three great songs and an OK one. About as good as one can wish given the state of the charts.
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Post by vastar iner on Jun 1, 2019 10:38:41 GMT 1
26 November. Bates and Davies. And "of course" Blue Mercedes (that does not logically follow) whose entire career was predicated around the singer wearing shorts. They needed some USP because the song redefines the meaning of gash.
Boy George and Communards, see above. TOTP has turned into GAY. Charts. Shakin' Stevens is new in and of course is on. "There Ain't Nothing Like" by The Tams. Nothing like what?
And it is Shaky now, nice girl in the shoulderless top next to Master Bates. Shaky has gone back to the denim after his recent excrescences. It's the old Emile Ford track. Not bad.
Breakers. Cyndi Lauper's backing band at 28 with something, well, rather startlingly brilliant. This really stands out amongst the dross. Great video. McCartney with his Christmas no. 1 pitch, which is trying too hard. As are The Housemartins, who are on now, with a very soft sound. They let the drummer sing bits this time. Dull.
Top 10. Proclaimers up 15. On the logarithmic scale that means it will be at 4 next week and 1 the following. But Christmas market so things can go weird. Any novelties planned? Top 3 the same so a good no.1. And the BBC cut it off before the sax break, which is downright disrespectful, and is basically chart-fixing. Harrison plays us out.
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Post by vastar iner on May 31, 2019 21:52:03 GMT 1
19/11, Nobhead and Mayo. It has just occurred to me that maybe TOTP had to get rid of "Yellow Pearl" because it was so much better than the utter sh*te in the charts by now. Hence them recruiting Hardcastle for something that doesn't qualify as music.
Maxi Priest with a reggae version of a Robert Palmer hit. Strong voice, interesting idea, I think that's Vicky Lickorish on backing vocals, but it's a dull song.
Houston. Not interested.
The Proclaimers. There was a load of buzz about this on breakfast television. You'd think the one with the guitar would let the one without do the verses. This is actually a really strong song with powerful and emotional input. Sometimes less is more. And I applaud them sticking to their accents. Oh, the guitarless one gets a moment in the sun by going through the shipping forecast. "A definite future number one." Well, have they inside knowledge? First mention of Christmas...
Charts. Housemartins with another pitch for a chart-topper is stalled low. Ditto Boy George.
Walrus alert. Where has this come from? White seems to have shed a few pounds. It's not really seventies Baz. Doesn't play to his voice enough. It's a bit of a mess, in fact.
Breakers. Boy George with a simple but elegant video with a book's pages being turned. Better than the song. The Smiths get a video. Weird that this isn't a bigger hit given it seems to be a farewell. It's also their best single for some time. Nobhead says The Smiths are his favourite band. Somehow I don't believe him.
Donna Summer. She sounds like a Pointer Sister on this. A bemusing song. Needs a chorus. Maybe she should chat with The Proclaimers.
Top 10. Top 2 are the same. Makes a change for me to be able to watch the no.1 rather than FF to the playout. It's the video now. I may need to examine to solve the question being asked at school - can one see a nipple or is it a negligee? It is a negligee. Nice pizzicato.
Playout is Whitesnake. This has US no. 1 written all over it. Quoesque.
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 17:31:01 GMT 1
12/11. Powell and Davies. T'Pau are on. So they are up from 5. We however start with one of last week's breakers. Since they cut the programme from 40 minutes, the opportunities for new acts are vanishing. This should have been on in full last week and given someone else a shot.
The US experiment means we get Medley & Warnes and a graphic of "UK Chart Position" because the US graphic of 15 is still there. I wonder why TOTP US never caught on? Would have thought it would have been a good thing in a fragmented scene. Live vocals. Can't be doing with it though. Far too overplayed.
Mirage in the studio with "Jack Mix IV". Isn't this basically a various artists medley? Or did they re-perform everything? Or get session musicians to do it? Can't be arsed to find out, this is unimaginative dross.
Charts. Are WASP Spinal Tap?
Alexander O'Neal. Once upon a time soul music was stuff like Sam & Dave or Otis Redding. This is a time of musical midgets. He has talent but the song is dire.
Breakers. Donna Summer. See Alexander O'Neal. Marillion, still re-recording "Kayleigh" in different guises. Houston with some landfill dance.
Top ten. Ghastly goes DOWN!!!! Ha ha. Well, given that we haven't had T'Pau yet, they must be no. 1. And indeed it is. They get checked as the 600th. Well, it's the best in the ten by a long chalk. Fresh, exciting, and new, says Powell. And we're followed by a song that's decades old. Hm.
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 13:14:58 GMT 1
Remember remember. Long and Smith. And T'Pau, who have re-entered the top 5. This is about Frankenstein, isn't it?
Followed by George Harrison. The two are nearly yoked together, 5 and 7 respectively. It's a race between them to the top of the charts. Far too repetitive. Same verse, pretty much.
Heartbeat. We do get to see them, even though they're non moving at 32. Guilt over missing them out last week? Not actually missing much, frankly. Jon Moss was starting a group called Heartbeat UK, they went nowhere.
Charts. "The heavily pregnant Steve Walsh." J&MC in the charts, woo. The Eurythmics experiment didn't quite take. Whitesnake with "Here I Go" (sic) is a big climber. Mercury & Caballe are new in at 12. Good shot for the top of the charts next week? By coincidence there are half-a-dozen candidates for no. 600.
Anyhoo, we go into the vid for them, but it's a bit, well, blatant. In that it is created for something rather than to be itself. Like let's show off as much as we can and throw in an opera voice that doesn't work on it.
Two breakers. Whitesnake. Is this an old song? It sounds familiar from about 1983. I've no strong objections to it. Standard rawk. I don't begrudge the Snake their hits, they've been close to breaking through for a while.
And Communards have gone full UB40. Their own stuff isn't selling so they primp up an old song and bung it out. Somerville's voice is higher than Gaynor's. I like the girl next to him. Although I'm guessing I'm the wrong sex for her. She has my dance non-moves.
Back to the studio. Eric B & Rakim, heh, they've turned up. Well, I'm liking this. Great production work. It's almost languid, very laid back. Hello, there's Ofra Haza in there.
Top 10. Well, I could see one of 1, 2, 3, 5, or 7 being no. 1 next week; maybe even 12 or 16. Very busy at the top of the charts. Bee Gees and W(NW) see us out.
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 11:30:38 GMT 1
Halloween eve eve. Davies, for about the trillionth time in a row, and Wright, who looks the prat he is. Style Council. Weller's descent into atrocity continues. Were it not for his socialism I doubt anyone would buy this crap.
George Michael at 2. So, who is no. 1? They didn't mention a new chart-topper, and I'm sure they would have done for no. 600, so presumably still The Bee Gees. The Nanas have missed their chance by a couple of weeks. "Faith" is poor fare.
Oh God. Ghastly. With the same fecking song. Charts. Who are Heartbeat? Scarlet Fantastic, great name. Jellybean has been at 13 for three weeks now.
Wright: "I told you this was a good show, didn't I?" Really? It's been utter arse so far. And what is next? Ray Parker Jr. Another one who was on last week. With utter, utter, utter sh*te.
Breakers this week. There's no point in having breakers if they're just going to be on next week. Eurythmics with something rather intriguing, if a bit Will Powers. George Harrison new at 22 and T'Pau new at 19. The former is a jaunty, if needless, cover. The latter...epic.
And we finally get something good. Scarlet Fantastic, two-thirds of Swansway (another great name). This is, in fact, and very fittingly, fantastic.
Top 10. Idol only up one. Nanas at 3, as I had deduced. Bee Gees at the top. We do not get Heartbeat or other new entries because we've got to see the Mac. Why? Blind doe.
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Post by vastar iner on May 27, 2019 11:02:31 GMT 1
22/10. Daveybates. The start is Was (Not Was) with their curious punctuation. Not sure there were dinosaurs 40m years ago. Unless one counts birds. This is great fun. Interesting visual contrast between the singers - one with mobile mike and bow tie, the other with porkpie hat. It's like they are two different bands but it works well. They probably need a proper dance a la Macarena to really kill it.
We go to TOTP USA because the BBC is desperate to push this experiment. And all for a f***ing godawful shitwank track from The Wolves that was on last week.
PSBs. "Rent". Weak sauce. Back to the let's talk for a while and sing the chorus while trying to be all meaningful. Bored vas.
Top 40. Amazulu, beaten to the punch.
Kiss at no.4. Live performance chosen. Well, live vocal, which is too loud for the backing. Wonder why this wasn't a hit in the States?
Erasure, this time with brass, see above. Breakers. The Cure sounding their most janglepoppy. Really good. Ray Parker Jr, the diametric opposite. And George Michael, who only gets a breaker. Shoutout to Birmingham Small Arms there.
Top 10. Idol with a bit of a jump there. Bananarama though get a biiiig climb. They're on target for the top spot next week. Them or George Michael But right now it is The Bee Gees. The 599th so-called official number one; there's already speculation as to who will nab it...
The Nanas get the play-out. Not ideal billing for a genuine no. 1 candidate. They should really have been in the Lobos spot.
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 16:44:25 GMT 1
15/10. Davies - was he trapped in the studio? - and Powell. UB40, starts exactly like "Red Red Wine" till the brass comes in. I really, really like this one though. It's dual vocal through most of it. Nice and bouncy, with some interesting twists in it. Wow, this is the best start for a prog for a while.
Five Star. Warhol was wrong.
The Alarm. Still going. This is close to epic. Needed more commitment in the production. Mike Peters trying to sound like Bono.
Charts, and Terence "Trout" d'Arby. It's OK, but not a patch on his earlier releases.
Breakers. Los Lobos. Their time is surely up, this is just a note-for-note cover of no independent merit whatsoever. Bananarama can consider themselves unlucky only to get a breaker with a new entry at 22. Spesh as the breakers are getting Chart Show rundown runs. The Mac with something so MOR that the line-painters would run it down. Was (Not Was) with something interestingly funky. Could have done with more of that.
And we get Fatback Band. Taking away the "you wot" bits do not improve it. Great name though.
Ah, I see the BBC's chart fixing has worked. Bee Gees leapfrog two songs with very limited play. Billy Idol gets the playout with a fun version of a terrific choon. Even now Mead & Goulding don't get a go on TOTP.
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 12:26:30 GMT 1
Keep going. 8/10. Which is not a mark for the show. Smith & Davies AGAIN? Did literally nobody else want to do this show? Jellybean, with some useless landfill dance.
Biggest climber is Kiss. They've eschewed their make-up. It's weird seeing them as a bog standard hair metal band. It's quite raucous, very us v the world. Almost appealing.
Jammer. Feck off. Erasure with something political. It's OK, but it's like most rock star politics. Can't really empathize when they don't really have to work for a living.
LL Cool J on US TOTP. Nia Peeples would be better.
Now it gets confusing. "I Found Lovin'" is in the charts twice. By Fatback and Fat Man. TOTP show the fat man. Why does this load of sh*te need one version rather than two?
Mead & Goulding at 2,and they still have no play. This will cost them a chart-topper. The no. 1 is M/A/R/R/S and it's a playout again.
Is this deliberate chart fixing by TOTP?
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Post by vastar iner on May 26, 2019 11:52:50 GMT 1
1.10. Very binary. Smith and Davies AGAIN? Did they come as a job lot? Anyway. Sisters Of Mercy. Andrew Eldritch and that girl he said did nothing other than add eye candy. And not much eye candy at that. I dunno, she has that gothlolita thing down nicely. It's like a subversion of instru-vocal duos where it's normally the bloke doing the work. I quite like this. Oh, there's a band too. Eldritch is a great word.
Jackson. FF.
Something special. Three guys who first appeared in 1967. It's The Bee Gees. Thumpy start. This isn't a bad record at all either. Maurice Gibb appears to have added strings to a stylophone. Robin's doing f*** all. Nice key change.
Charty chart chart. Steve Walsh. Who? God, I still hate this music. ABC non-move despite performing. Those little parallelograms either side of the number at the top make it look like everything is going down. JHJ actually DROP after performing, lol.
We have the most random reason for someone to be in the studio. Sisters whose dad taught Numan how to fly. "Cars" is still f***ing brilliant. Is that indeed Billy Curry et al backing? The little remix tweaks for this one work a treat. Sometimes less is more. Give it a real noise and urgency.
Steve Winwood. Dull.
Shakin Stevens. Let me follow the thought process. Collins had a hit with a needless Supremes cover. What can I do to top the charts? I know. God almighty. Mate, just give it up. Retain what little dignity you have. Mead & Goulding get the highest climber but they don't get a play. THE REIGN OF TERROR IS OVER!!!!!!! We don't show M/A/R/R/S yet because we need to hear from Nicky "dressed as my grandad" Campbell. And it's a playout because they don't want it there the next week. State of that.
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