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Post by Whitneyfan on Oct 19, 2017 12:10:22 GMT 1
Robbie Williams' Radio did not do much for me, couldn't sing it now. Tinchy Stryder - Never Leave You - again can't remember this one at all! Oh I love Never Leave You. Radio, like most of Robbie's number ones, does nothing for me at all.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Nov 19, 2017 12:23:45 GMT 1
While doing research for my book about the UK’s worst ever number one singles, I’ve been thinking a lot about Earth Song by Michael Jackson.
I’ve always hated it. Preachy, sanctimonious twaddle, it is the sound of a multi millionaire figurehead for consumerism, making a fortune for himself by pleading for better treatment of a planet he’s done far more than most to destroy. Throughout Jackson’s career his fantastic, era defining pop music had occasionally been punctuated by over sentimental balladry, but nothing had even hinted at the level of unpleasantness on display in this patronising drivel. What a dreadful indictment of the UK public’s taste that this is his best selling single.
My dislike of the track was exacerbated by his performance of it at the 1996 Brit Awards. As he descended from the heavens surrounded by dry ice, sick children in rags stepped forward, touched him and were miraculously cured. One person in the audience famously refused to take the preposterous notion of a pop star depicting himself as Christ Almighty seriously. Jarvis Cocker was already firmly cemented as one of my favourite pop stars, when he got on that stage and waggled his bottom he was elevated to the status of hero, where he remains to this day.
Problem is, after years of never even hearing it, I’ve been having another listen and I’m not so sure. I still hate it, but it would be silly to deny that it’s a hugely impressive production. Also, whether I like it or not, Earth Song definitely fulfilled the requirement to click with people generally, as it sold millions. There are enough number one singles which are just undeniably bad without me having to include one which I don’t like but everyone else does.
Also, post-death, it’s become clearer that Jackson was mentally very child-like. I can well imagine that, in his absurdly cocooned existence, he was unable to see how ridiculous and contradictory all the theatrics were, and was probably motivated by a genuine concern for the planet and all of its suffering children and animals.
I’m never going to like it, but I think I might have to leave it out.
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Post by Whitneyfan on Nov 19, 2017 17:46:04 GMT 1
I love earth Song.
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Post by raliverpool on Nov 19, 2017 19:29:16 GMT 1
I abhor Earth Song.
Whilst it is certainly not the worst UK #1, it is certainly the most offensive & grotesque UK #1 ever.
The very fact he thought he could get away with that Messianic song, that video, and that BRITS performance without anyone at (his record label) Sony questioning it, shows what power that he had and how he could easily abuse it and get away with it, in the same way the Harvey Weinstein's of the world have.
The very fact the first location was the Amazon Rainforest, where a large part was destroyed on purpose for the making of the video says what a disgusting, deluded individual he was.
It is to America great credit, that due to the Christ like message it rightfully got minimal radio airplay in the USA stalling at USA #106, and stalled at Canada #40, & Australia #15.
Even 21 years after Jarvis Cocker's heroic protest at the BRITS, it is so telling that at the time amongst those condemning the Pulp frontman, and singing the praises of the self proclaimed King Of Pop were Jimmy Savile; Rolf Harris; & Cliff Richard.
Or as Jeremy Clarkson joked after MJ's death ....
Q: "What's the difference between Jimmy Savile & Michael Jackson?"
A: "About $320 million and the American legal system". (In America the estate of the dead can sue for libel, unlike in the UK).
Sadly us Europeans shamefully went out and bought this horrific record in their masses, especially in Catholic countries, but it is not as if the Catholic church covered up massive child abuse scandals in their Dioceses .....
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Post by Earl Purple on Nov 19, 2017 22:28:39 GMT 1
Michael Jackson died in 2009 and Jimmy Savile in 2011 and Jimmy's issues didn't come to light until about a year after his death so I don't think Jeremy Clarkson said that after MJ's death.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 19, 2017 22:34:33 GMT 1
Whilst it is certainly not the worst UK #1, it is certainly the most offensive & grotesque UK #1 ever. I'd give that accolade to MJ's other crass-ic "We Are The World". They were the world in the same sense as world as in World Series. I.e. American.
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Post by Whitneyfan on Nov 19, 2017 22:43:33 GMT 1
It's no worse than Bob Geldof telling us all to "give us your f***ing money" while he was ploughing millions into offshore bank accounts.
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Post by suedehead on Nov 20, 2017 0:34:05 GMT 1
Michael Jackson died in 2009 and Jimmy Savile in 2011 and Jimmy's issues didn't come to light until about a year after his death so I don't think Jeremy Clarkson said that after MJ's death. There were plenty of rumours about Savile long before he died.
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Post by suedehead on Nov 20, 2017 0:35:10 GMT 1
It's no worse than Bob Geldof telling us all to "give us your f***ing money" while he was ploughing millions into offshore bank accounts. Except he didn't say it.
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Post by Laurence on Nov 20, 2017 1:36:48 GMT 1
Oh I quite liked Earth song - the melody was strong and I like the fact it’s dramatic and long where the convention is 3-4 mins for a no.1. Different to other no,1s and yes the drug induced messianic complex is interesting.. Compared to Outhere Brothers and Robison and Jerome it was certainly not the worst no. 1 of 1995. Of course knowing about his other side of Jacko puts you off.
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Post by Whitneyfan on Nov 20, 2017 6:48:45 GMT 1
It's no worse than Bob Geldof telling us all to "give us your f***ing money" while he was ploughing millions into offshore bank accounts. Except he didn't say it. Either way his attitude still stank. If he really cared about those starving children he could have done something substantial to help.
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Post by suedehead on Nov 20, 2017 10:06:49 GMT 1
Either way his attitude still stank. If he really cared about those starving children he could have done something substantial to help. So organising the Band Aid single and the Live Aid concert wasn't substantial? However irritating he may have become in more recent years, he worked damned hard on the Band Aid project in its early years.
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Post by Earl Purple on Nov 20, 2017 10:32:16 GMT 1
At the time in 1984 he (Bob Geldof) wasn't that wealthy. He'd had a moderately good career with the Boomtown Rats but the band's fortune was failing.
Yes he lived in a decent Chelsea flat with Paula who had some success of her own and their daughters.
He did have connections in the music industry and what he did at the time was quite revolutionary. AFter going through divorce later on and whatever other traumas he actually made money through shrewd investments later that had nothing to do with music, other than, I guess, using some of the capital he already had acquired.
As for Michael Jackson, unlike Jimmy Savile, his issues did actually end up in a court of law where he faced trial for what he had allegedly done. Whatever you think of the American justice system, the accusations against him were brought up in a court trial and in the end he was acquitted. It's not like everything was "covered up".
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Nov 20, 2017 13:27:51 GMT 1
Rightly or wrongly, I've always seen Jackson more as a victim than a perpetrator. He came across as being completely out of touch with reality, I think the people around him had never allowed him to have anything approaching a normal life. He was very peculiar, but the way in which he'd been manipulated by so many organisations in music industry, lawyers, sponsors and even his own family in order to make money it would have been difficult for him to be anything else.
I genuinely love Bad and Thriller, and a minority of the stuff he did before and after was also great. I'd prefer to remember him for that than his strangeness, the court case, or [shudder] Earth Song.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Aug 14, 2018 15:00:11 GMT 1
After many hours and hours of listening to absolute garbage, many changes of heart and frequently asking myself what on earth I'm doing this for, I have a final top 50 for the book. Now I just have to write it, which will be the easy part
50 McFly Baby's Coming Back / Transylvania 49 Mr Blobby Mr Blobby 48 Take That Babe 47 The Crowd You'll Never Walk Alone 46 Paul McCartney with Stevie Wonder Ebony & Ivory 45 Renee & Renato Save Your Love 44 DJ Casper Cha Cha Slide 43 St Winifred's School Choir There's No One Quite Like Grandma 42 Vanesa Jenkins & Bryn West featuring Sir Tom Jones & Barry Gibb (Barry) Islands In The Stream 41 Sak Noel Loca People 40 Manchester United Football Squad Come On You Reds 39 Lita Roza (How Much Is) That Doggie In The Window? 38 Leon Jackson When You Believe 37 Gilbert O'Sullivan Clair 36 Chico It's Chico Time 35 Anne Shelton Lay Down Your Arms 34 Robson Green & Jerome Flynn Unchained Melody / The White Cliffs Of Dover 33 Ray Stevens The Streak 32 Mike Sarne with Wendy Richards Come Outside 31 Sandi Thom I Wish I Was A Punk Rocker (With Flowers In My Hair) 30 Westlife The Rose 29 Joe Dolce Music Theatre Shaddap You Face 28 X Factor Finalists 2010 Heroes 27 X Factor Finalists 2008 Hero 26 Joe McCelderry The Climb 25 Mariah Carey & Westlife Against All Odds (Take A Look At Me Now) 24 The Proclaimers featuring Brian Potter & Andy Pipkin (I'm Gonna Be) 500 Miles 23 Crazy Frog Axel F 22 Spice Girls Holler / Let Love Lead The Way 21 Take That Sure 20 New Kids On The Block Hangin' Tough 19 Cher Lloyd Swagger Jagger 18 The Outhere Brothers Don't Stop (Wiggle Wiggle) 17 Will Young & Gareth Gates The Long And Winding Road / Suspicious Minds 16 Donny Osmond Puppy Love 15 5ive & Queen We Will Rock You 14 Charlene I've Never Been To Me 13 Jive Bunny & the Mastermixers Let's Party 12 Sam And Mark With A Little Help From My Friends 11 The Outhere Brothers Boom Boom Boom 10 Michael Jackson Earth Song 9 Robin Thicke featuring T.I. and Pharrell Blurred Lines 8 Bombalurina Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini 7 Hale & Pace and The Stonkers The Stonk 6 Another Level Freak Me 5 Color Me Badd I Wanna Sex You Up 4 Chuck Berry My Ding-A-Ling 3 J.J. Barrie No Charge 2 Little Jimmy Osmond Long Haired Lover From Liverpool 1 Peter Andre I Feel You
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 6, 2018 11:11:34 GMT 1
Well, I've started the writing. I've done about 20% now, but I thought I'd post them in here at a rate of roughly one per week in case anyone has any comments or thoughts and wants to share. All feedback is very welcome. Here's the first:
50 – Baby’s Coming Back / Transylvania by McFly When American rock band Blink 182 took their glorious combination of pop melodies and punk attitude into the top 10 in the early 2000s, the UK music industry, forever scrabbling about for opportunities to turn other people’s genius into its own watered-down ideas, spotted a gap in the market. The resulting British version had more of the pop, and rather than punk attitude they just had punk clothes, lots of jumping, and an occasional, non-threatening, pearly white snarl. They were called Busted.
Busted were such a big, immediate success that the next idea was even less inspired – we’ll just create another one. The official version of events was that Busted “helped launch McFly by inviting them to tour with them in 2004 and 2005”, a fairly pathetic conceit considering a new and identical boyband would clearly be far better news for the record company than for Busted themselves.
Promotion in front of legions of teenage girls duly achieved, McFly first entered the pop charts at number 1 with Five Colours In Her Hair in March 2004. Even less threatening than Busted, and lacking some of the humour and charm that had given them an appeal slightly wider than the typical boy band, it was nevertheless not a terrible record.
Clearly onto a good thing McFly rapidly spat out 10 more singles over the next 3 years. All of them went top 10, 5 of them reached number 1, but there was a problem. While their fanbase was becoming more and more loyal, the general public were becoming less and less interested. After entering high, they were increasingly sinking down the charts on week 2. I’ll Be OK fell from 1 to 8, Star Girl fell from 1 to 9. The UK charts had been a source of huge fascination to music fans of a certain age for the last 50 years. To have a number one single had been the ultimate accolade for generations of bands, it secured them a place in history and a place in the memories of the British public forever. Now the charts were facing a completely new phenomenon – number 1 singles that absolutely no one anywhere even cared about.
Then came Baby’s Coming Back / Transylvania. Musically bland with absolutely no redeeming features, one song is a lazy cover of a 1990 Jellyfish single, the other the fourth track to be lifted from McFly’s third album. There is absolutely nothing here to attract anyone to buy it, but loyal to the point of stupidity, the fans did their duty and sent it straight to number 1.
In 50 years the only singles to fall from number one all the way out of the top 10 were two Elvis Presley re-issues which were strictly limited edition, and Harry Bellafonte’s Mary’s Boy Child, which fell out of favour with the public as it was no longer Christmas. McFly didn’t just drop out of the top 10, they went from 1 to 20.
Baby’s Coming Back / Transylvania was an entirely pointless release, it never had any hope of generating interest from the public and represented a sad moment in the history of the UK charts. Due to manipulation of releases and promotion which inspired absurd dedication in a tiny proportion of the population, the concept of number one singles was now largely meaningless. The charts have gone through various changes since thanks to new technology and different methods of music consumption, but they have never truly recovered from the damage symbolised by this one, utterly worthless record.
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Post by suedehead on Sept 6, 2018 11:35:43 GMT 1
Ouch! And that’s only for number 50.
I wouldn’t be quite as scathing about McFly but that’s not really relevant. I like the general style of your write-up, including a degree of context. Are you going to mention the songs held off the top by your list of horrors? There is, of course, one example where it would be almost impossible not to mention what was kept from number one (even though that song was at number two for a week before the offending release climbed to the top).
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Post by Whitneyfan on Sept 6, 2018 12:59:14 GMT 1
Transylvania is one of the few McFly songs that I really like.
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Post by Milliways on Sept 6, 2018 13:19:31 GMT 1
I thought ‘Star Girl’ might have made the list. It stands out among the badness of McFly #1s for having one of the worst lines I’ve heard in any song, ever, by anyone
“Hey, there's nothing on Earth that could save us / When I fell in love with Uranus”
{{cringe}}
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Post by Deleted on Sept 6, 2018 14:33:25 GMT 1
You just dislike novelty or/and cheesy songs.
"Save Your Love" was # 8 in my favourite UK # 1s list.
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