SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 26, 2022 7:12:35 GMT 1
These have been a bit mind numbing lately, all reggae lite, blue-eyed soul and corporate pop. Then, suddenly, Manic Street Preachers come on with La Tristesse Durera and it’s like it’s beamed in from another planet, with James Dean Bradfield striking a none more masculine rock pose while Nicky Wire head bangs in heavy eye shadow and Ritchie Edwards bounces around in a flowery dress.
The song is so staggeringly glorious it’s hard to take in, and then just as you starting to realise you’re witnessing something incredible they cut away to Craig McLachlan & Debbie Gibson performing You’re The One That I Want live on stage at the Dominion Theatre. At least in 2022 I can rewind and watch it again
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Sept 26, 2022 8:11:31 GMT 1
29/7. D:Ream with a song that would be Pointless, and indeed sounds pointless.
"Massive in America." She's quite hefty here too. Robin S. God almighty, MORE f***ing sh*t DANCE. Sheer vacuity.
The chart video is Freddie Mercury, because the music industry has evidently given up on any new fresh decent talent and is instead digging down to coffins and then getting dance DJs to throw up in the grave. This is worse than a bad song, this is a morally repellent surrender.
The Manics. Well, it's not dance. But it definitely comes across as the saddoes in the sixth form trying to quote Sartre.
And it cuts to McLachlan and Gibson, live from a theatre. Other than top 40 completionists, the combined IQ of everyone buying this is about eight. Jesus f***ing CHRIST. It's worse than bad; it's evil.
Breakers. Juliet Roberts, not Julia, with exactly the same song as everyone else on this f***ing wankfest of a show for about the last trillion years. Janet Jackson, I think, it was indistinguishable. Billy Joel, channelling his inner Paul Simon. Whitney Houston, oh God I can't stand this sh*t. And Madonna, again.
f***ing Minogue AGAIN. Does she not feel the slightest bit embarrassed by this total ****?
Bee Gees, because, you know, Europe's hottest music show needs to have exclusives from people whose first hit was 26 years before. Extrapolating that back, it would be like TOTP in 1967 announcing an exclusive from Anne Shelton. Maybe if someone had told a producer that then they might have used the slot for someone new and interesting. Or maybe not because the producer seems to be on a concerted campaign to destroy the show. It would be just about forgiveable if the song were any good. It's not.
Rest of the show is similarly ploughing the barrel.
Oh to be the DG of the BBC for one f***ing day about now.
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TheThorne
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*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
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Post by TheThorne on Sept 26, 2022 8:33:36 GMT 1
Funny how time works if we still had proper TOTP today and exclusive from a band from 26 years ago would just be new Muse or Foo Fighters and they are still the biggest rock bands in the world.
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Post by o on Sept 26, 2022 12:46:18 GMT 1
"oh God I can't stand this sh*t" And yet you post the same vitriol week after week, it's become like a parody of yourself.
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TheThorne
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*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
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Post by TheThorne on Sept 26, 2022 12:51:47 GMT 1
I know but it’s going to get better just had to suffer these shockingly formatted shows for a few more months at least they got the chart right again,
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Good Old Days
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Sielos grožio niekas nepavogs, kol širdy jaunystė gros.
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Post by Good Old Days on Sept 26, 2022 13:17:19 GMT 1
Debbie Gibson and Craig McLachlan - You're The One That I Want spent 4 weeks on the top of my chart. Also it's my favourite Debbie song and prefer this cover over the original.
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TheThorne
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*Hillside, slip and slide, feel the pain, it's no surprise!*
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Post by TheThorne on Sept 26, 2022 14:25:13 GMT 1
Debbie Gibson and Craig McLachlan - You're The One That I Want spent 4 weeks on the top of my chart. Also it's my favourite Debbie song and prefer this cover over the original. Sometimes I think your music taste is contrary on purpose., there can be no other explanation.
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Good Old Days
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Sielos grožio niekas nepavogs, kol širdy jaunystė gros.
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Post by Good Old Days on Sept 26, 2022 15:13:32 GMT 1
Sometimes I think your music taste is contrary on purpose., there can be no other explanation. My music taste is too obscure for mainstream music fans, but too trashy for RYM snobs.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Sept 26, 2022 18:32:52 GMT 1
"oh God I can't stand this sh*t" And yet you post the same vitriol week after week, it's become like a parody of yourself. Don’t discourage him! I look forward to the vitriol, I actually think this thread has helped me further develop my own critical writing skills. Just recently he’s renamed the Dannii Minogue single “This Is sh*t”, called Take That “b*st*rd Wankturds” and said the BBC are “godless merciless genocidal ****s”. I love it!
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 8, 2022 21:16:53 GMT 1
1950s F1 points system, third + FL/first. Juliet Roberts, who is a lot less fit than she was in Pretty Woman. Franklin describes her as "superb". Not sure that this fits the definition of that word. It's closer to the definition of "sh*te" . It just f***ing goes on, with no hook, or joy, or emotion, or whatever.
Daniel O'Donnell, for those who think Cliff is a bit too exciting.
Madonna, because she doesn't have enough publicity.
Urban Cookie Collective, see above.
Michelle Gayle, because the BBC is advertising its own f***ing product. She's got a decent voice but again this is any old crap that probably took 5 minutes to write and 10 minutes to produce.
Breakers. Yazzwad, this really does not need to exist at all, bad cover of a bad song. The Goodmen, which at least has something that makes it stand out from the landfill dance, namely a tribal drumbeat. Culture Beat, which is beyond awful, Euroshite, and Bon Jovi with a country choon.
UB40, with something that's rather good, quite jaunty. And they introduce their Bluenose mate Bitty. Quite nice. This is how to do a cover - make it sound very different to the original.
Taxdodging fake marketing is still no. 1. Only things in the show worth watching were from Birmingham.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 11, 2022 18:27:05 GMT 1
Birthday eve. This f***ing theme. Who the hell thought it was any good? Green Jelly get play at last with a mundane cover version, enlivened by the singer as a bemohicaned Flintstone.
Sarah Washington, with a dance version if "I Will Always Love You". This could possibly be the worst thing that has ever happened in the history of the world. Black Death? Genghis Khan? Nowhere. Everyone involved in this atrocity should be very very very very slowly dipped in sulphuric acid to the extent that they are only now shuffling off this mortal coil.
Billy Joel with something irritating. Can't be arsed.
Bad Boys Inc. You know that Sarah Washington thing? I take it all back. You know those Republicans who are against abortion? Show them this.
Culture Beat. Oh f*** OFF. At least they are equal opportunities by giving a foghorn the chance to be lead singer.
Breakers. Ice Cube sampling a sample. Pop is eating itself. Ali & Frazier with a cover version. WHY??? Jamiroquai, he can f*** off. Spin Doctors being a corporate's idea of alternative.
Apache Indian. This stands out a f***ing MILE on this show. It's about the only thing that is not a cover version and has some moxie.
Yazzwad WITH A COVER. Remember Vastariner's Rule of TOTP? I would have cut this f***ing show to ribbons. I would have permitted Jamiroquai, Spin Doctors, and Apache Indian. And thrown in Swervedriver, Kinky Machine, and Credit To The Nation.
Meanwhile no. 1 is Burke & Hare. Sickening.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 11, 2022 18:47:16 GMT 1
Wolves beat Newcastle 3-1 in the Cup final. Pogues, sounding more Hothouse Flowers than Pogues. It's blando dando.
UB40, have mentioned this above. Yay Astro!
In a stunning bit of imaginative programme it's also followed by Bitty McLean. Hm. When have they done this before?
Segues into Aftershock, which I do not remember at all. Not surprising, it's about as memorable as that thing I've forgotten.
Breakers. The Breeders, who should have been on in full. Mariah Carey with her usual rubbish but she looks good in Daisy Dukes.
Tasmin Archer. "Hey, Carrie Ann, what's your game now..."
Bee Gees. Even more pointless than last time.
Sinclair, who may as well be called Aftershock the Second.
Still a total insult to every contemporary act at number one. What's the f***ing point?
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TheThorne
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Post by TheThorne on Oct 11, 2022 18:53:15 GMT 1
Still though Breeders getting a breakers #40 is a rare thing.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 13, 2022 17:30:41 GMT 1
26/8 and an explosive opening from Therapy? whose ? was to fill in a gap on a tape spine and they thought ! was clichéd. This is not them at their best but thank God for something that's not sh*t dance (tautology and something that grabs the audience. There's a lesson there.
The contrast is uber-evident with the SWV video so a smart bit of programming there. Nice voices but utterly uninteresting.
Sisters Of Mercy. Heh, someone obviously has had a word in the schedule truck. Third genre so far, this is how to get the audience increased, get something for everyone. Quite like this, it's quite involved and intriguing, and some great vocals from Terri Nunn with Eldritch acting as the bad cop.
aaaaaaand then we go to Ace Of Base. If I were Eldritch, I could not have planned this better, it's like following a course of a decent escargot with a sandwich made of sh*t between two pieces of sh*t. It makes EVERYTHING that has gone before sound loads, loads better.
We now get five minutes of Maltloaf, whose recent sales have not been great so he goes Full Oldfield and just throws back with a title to get the plebs on board. Anyway, this is exactly what one would expect; massive, gigantic, pompous, overblown, kitchen sink thrown in. And frankly isn't that what pop music ought in part to be? We need this "start with an explosion and build to a climax" magnificence every now and then. And, when you consider the previous act was Ace Of f***ing Base, it's like comparing the American military to the army of Andorra. It's unfair, really, how can a frothy helium-light pap act compete with the big brown bearhug of Maltloaf?
Breakerinos, Lenny Kravitz, this would have stood up better than Ace of f***ing Base, something of the Temps doing Dylan about it. Onyx, sounding a bit Public Enemy, again this would have been a better shout than SWV. God, THAT THEME. Joey Lawrence, well, this is a treasure. In that it should be buried for centuries and totally forgotten about. Terence Trount D'arby, with something more rocking than his usual. Sounds good. A needless cover from Tina Turner, which also sounds good, but, really, needs more Otway.
Mariah Carey, yeah, but no. On the show presumably because she's there. Well, I can at least find a reason for having her on.
Think I might have moved the no. 1 to the playout. But, that was a startlingly good show, BECAUSE VARIETY. Make it interesting, show different types of music, make me wonder what's coming next. Ace Of f***ing Base can f*** off though.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Oct 15, 2022 10:14:12 GMT 1
Cilla Black? Cilla bloody Black, for Christ’s sake? Why? Just why? I wonder how many people switched off? It’s just too much to expect anyone under 50 to sit through that racket.
Carter were brilliant of course, but seriously, Cilla Black?
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 16, 2022 13:59:17 GMT 1
2/9. 2 Untalented. Dear sweet God, did they take these lyrics from Des'ree's dustbin? It's worse than Play School. And Ray is fooling NOBODY with the piano. I think you can only buy this if you've had a lobotomy. Tina Turner, should not be on. Evidently whoever was planning it last week did too good a job, we're back to dance sh*te. Steps up a bit with Carter USM which at least gets the indierock credentials done.
Kenny Thomas. So far, we've had on 10, 12, 16, and now 17. Did someone only get the middle bit of the top 30 in their inbox? This is sh*t. As if to prove the point, we see Terence "Trout" D'arby, who is at no. 18. This however definitely merits a play, even if he is trying to go Hendrix. It's different, it stands out, and it might attract a new audience. Breakers, New Order, Mary J Bilge, Stone Temple Pilots, Weller, and every one of them is given far too little time to work out what they sound like. Really, what IS the f***ing point? Contractual obligation? Doesn't help that they waste half of the available time with THAT f***ing THEME and a pointless voiceover WE HAVE THE CHYRON. Bitty McLean, again. Cilla Black. WHOSE f***ing STUPID INSANE CRETINOUS IDEA WAS THIS? ?? CURVE ARE IN THE TOP FORTY AND WE HAVE SHRILLA'S NASAL OFFTUNE MEANDERING? No. 1 is also still a waste of time. Looks like last week was an anomaly.
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Post by o on Oct 16, 2022 18:54:18 GMT 1
If you dont tone down the swearing Vas, then your posts will be edited.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Oct 17, 2022 13:34:01 GMT 1
I actually find Faces by 2 Unlimited very funny - whoever's behind them was surely just taking the p*ss by this point, weren't they?
"Faces, faces, everywhere!". Yes mate, people have them on the front of their heads.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 17, 2022 23:56:55 GMT 1
James Masterson said of "Faces" that "it contains more depth than their average work, with changes of tempo rife throughout."
If there's any stronger evidence that that man should never be allowed within 50 miles of a chart, there it is.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 23, 2022 13:07:38 GMT 1
North Korea national day. Moby, who is attacking the electronic drums as if he has just found out they have been cheating on him. This is surprisingly good; I don't know if the recording has a sample but I'm quite taken with the in-studio vocalist, she's doing a great job in sounding like Two Tons Of Fun. Not sure they needed Moby's one word (or her hat) but the performance, by having no energy at all, makes the music sound so much more thrilling.
Fresh Prince with his nice clean rap. No. Not for me at all.
Bjork. This wasn't the best track on Debut to release but that voice is so mesmerizing.
James, with about a million guitars and someone who has wandered in from a Mission video. This is rather brilliant. I wonder if they are alternating producers? This show is so much better put together than the last one.
And that's followed by Stone Temple Pilots. Again, not my cup of tea, but it's another genre, and this show looks so much more like for the adults than the bloody Minipops rubbish from various Minogues. This is thrown right back to how the revamp originally took place.
Breakers: Guru & N'dea Davenport, this should have been in the Will Smith slot for being a LOT more interesting. Texas, don't recall this one. Zhané, see Guru. Motörhead, is this because of the Pot Noodle advert?
(NB: the chap is Lionel Hutz)
It kind of fades out with New Order, because this has already been on the show twice, so does it really need to take up a slot from someone else?
And Beverly Craven has lost her pooter, maybe to show off her legs, and again I'm not keen, it's a bit Clannad, but this is a different genre AGAIN. This is how the show should be. Lots of different stuff for every audience. There's no excuse not to watch a show with this sort of variety on it because there's bound to be someone you like.
What it all does do is show up just how unlistenable the no. 1 is. Literally WHO is buying that?
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