mfr
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Post by mfr on Oct 23, 2022 20:40:35 GMT 1
It's the same producer and the same methodology.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 25, 2022 16:17:18 GMT 1
Someone must be giving feedback then.
Enckelman Day. Now, normally I'm against re-issues being on Ver Pops, but, even performing to a backing track, Motörhead are way way way way way more exciting than basically any dance rubbish. "I don't want to live in Elstree" hehehe. You'd think 2 Untalented would be hugely embarrassed.
PSBs with a postmodernist video and a cover version which has some interest in making it the Internationale rather than Manifest Destiny. But it's a flashy short-term thing rather than anything with real depth.
Changing the subject ENTIRELY, Radiohead, who are basically doing an impression of Pixies. Not unappealing, slightly gimmicky, there's something there. Let's hope they go in a positive direction.
Jade. "One Woman". There are three of them. It's actually bad luck for them, because, after two legends and promising newcomers, two of the three with stab-attack rock guitars, this sounds like an interminable tuneless dirge. No thrill, no moxie, nothing there at all. This is basically a throwaway filler from some Motown D-lister, some act that's complaining that Berry never releases their stuff so he shoves something out that keeps them quiet but peaks at 86 in the RnB album chart.
Funnily enough, I could say the same about Lenny Kravitz, disappointingly.
Breakers. Shara Nelson with something with a LOT more spunk. Roxette, seriously, should be treating a song from three years earlier as one dropping down the charts. Kate Bush, who should have been on instead of Jade.
Chakademus & Pliers, this too is dirge-y. It's identical to "You Might Need Somebody" by Shola Ama. Which she hasn't released yet. It also never seems to end. "Isn't that brilliant?" says Franklin. "No" says HRH Sir Lord Vastariner.
Belinda Carlisle. Guitarist resembles Charlotte Caffey. It's...not her best. Title doesn't even scan. Backed the wrong horse with this one, Nirvana are at 9...
No. 1 is still atrocious, but at least the show is worth watching again.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 29, 2022 10:07:53 GMT 1
Albon Ericsson. The Stuffies, a good introduction to the show because they basically warm everyone up before exploding into a surprisingly raw rock. Sound mixing needs work though. Maybe the Poproducers need to be a bit bolder in letting acts perform 100% live.
Depeche Mode at 9. Going GOSPEL? Or are they taking the p*ss out of U2? I don't think it works, but kudos for trying, and sticking it on an EP at least gives fans money's worth.
M People, who, per Dortie, make tunes which are exceedingly catchy. Like ebola.
Shara Nelson. Again she is VERY disappointing as a live vocalist. It's unfair to think of what someone like Aretha would have done with this, but, jeez, even the one we've just seen would have done a much better job with this.
Segues into Haddaway, with some generic tosh.
Breakers. Worlds Apart's 15 minutes are up, a completely useless and hopeless (strictu sensu) cover version. Belinda Carlisle who didn't need to be on again. Aaaand...that's it.
Stakka Bo. Swedish rap. Not my smorgasbord.
An exclusive from Take T**t and Lulu. Jesus, this is desperately pathetic. Faecal cover of a faecal original. Audience has a cumulative IQ of twelve.
The number 1 is rubbish as well.
Well...the show started strongly and descended into purest ordure. And why? Because right now dance music has the imagination of a deep sea cucumber. Formulaic standardized pile 'em high landfill. Is there ANYONE on the planet who looks at Haddaway and thinks "yeah, I want to make music like that"?
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 29, 2022 10:30:20 GMT 1
30/9. Belinda Carlisle AGAIN. Come ON, this is really unfair on literally everyone else.
Gabrielle, dressed as...a ghost? Bride? Plague victim? However one cuts it, she CANNOT SING AND THIS SONG IS DREADFUL. Who the hell is buying this? Boyfriend calling in a few favours?
And for some reason FGTH are at number 6, and they get a play, which AGAIN is needless. Oh dear, we're back to the Producer From Hell. COCTEAU TWINS AT 34 WHY ARE THEY NOT ON
Manic Street Preachers, although the Manic is a misnomer. They seem to be plagiarizing themselves. This is...woeful. It's basically the songtitle yelled over and over again.
Breakers. US3 who are not Oui3. Sounds interesting from the four seconds we actually here. Paul Young with the highest climber is knocked from the show by Belinda Carlisle for whom 2 plays are not enough.
Eternal. There's a touch of class about them. It's perhaps too polished and American but it's definitely several cuts above the usual dance fodder - and several cuts above the Jades or SWVs of this world.
Chakademus & Pliers, given the turnover in the charts this does not need a play either. This is VERY POOR programming. Monolithic.
The Spin Doctors, who are something of a joke by now, surely.
Turning off before no. 1. A VERY bad show.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 29, 2022 20:33:10 GMT 1
The impossible split. Haddaway AGAIN. Come ON.
Big new entry for Maltloaf. Hm, so that previous showing was quite a lead-in before it actually got released. Video is cinematic, I suppose that I should have expected that.
Paul Young. Wow, another one struggling with live vocals. That's surprising. He sounds...rough. Is he well?
Billy Joel. This would not have looked out of place being performed by Sad Café or Kursaal Flyers or one of the other one-hit wonder bands from 1975. This is not advancing the course of human achievement.
OK, what sort of level of arrogance do you have to have to listen to "Tracks Of My Tears" and think, hm, Smokey's OK, but WE can do better? Surely you have to be at the level of, say, the Stones or McCartney? NOT AT THE LEVEL OF GO WEST, WHICH IS SO LOW YOU NEED THE HADRON COLLIDER TO TWEAK IT OUT OF THE QUANTUM FOAM. THIS IS THE VLADIMIR PUTIN OF RECORDS. IT IS HORRID.
Crowded House. This is as dull and MOR as everything else they ever do. I get the impression I'm meant to like them but oh God I'm dozing off.
Right Said Fred, with an elaborate and expensive backdrop, and Richard is pretty good at getting the crowd going. Oddly sounds a bit like Gabrielle. It's too serious for their image.
And can turn off because literally nobody is buying no. 1 because they like the song. Cretins.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Oct 30, 2022 14:40:32 GMT 1
14-10. Eternal to start with, see above.
Iron Maiden. Fanbase buy, obviously. I wonder if Maltloaf is going to kickstart a bit of harder metal love? Great shredding at the start. All those Belinda Carlisle plays and she's headlong down the charts. The song at 24 is magnificent, I think I remmeber it being on. Paul Young down, maybe his performance put people off. Maiden though is not very memorable at all, there's no hook I can discern.
"This lady has a superb voice". Dina Carroll. Well, she's pretty good. This though is average sub-standard MOR shlock that might have been a small hit in 1974 for Silver Convention.
Lemonheads. Well, that; another genre catered for, and the performance is not bad, although it's not really much of a grabber songwise.
Breakers. For some inane reason a non-mover re-issue at no. 20 is getting a play. Prince, with something that sounds like a re-hash of "Cream", which logically is called "Peach". The Prodigy with an entirely CGI video, although the song itself has all the soul of a teasmaid. Bon Jovi, with something very Bon Jovi.
One Dove. It was indeed on, unlike Dot's mike, which takes a mo to set up. An Andy Weatherall production and this is as damn close to musical perfection as you can get. Not everyone on stage is in One Dove btw.
And we cut to a Phil Collins exclusive. Even Mrs Collins doesn't want to hear a Phil Collins exclusive. To be fair, this is pretty good; an unusual vibe to it, sort of vaguely Big Country. Although it goes on a bit.
Talking of going on a bit. They've left FOUR MINUTES for the no. 1. That could have been cut down by at least five.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 5, 2022 20:45:35 GMT 1
21-10. "Eargasmic", nice one Tone. Only it's Cappella, which is more of a turn-off. Why is there some geezer shouting "come on!!!" at random moments?
INXS with a video that is basically "Suicide Blonde". This is very...U2. Not what brought them to the dance but not bad nevertheless.
Lisa Stansfield with a soap advert. She's done a Cliff. Moved straight to the 50 somethings. This is nauseating.
Chris Rea with something that is doing the Brotherhood of Man thing but with a lot less subtlety. Sorry, not for me.
Jean-Michel Jarre. This sounds like a boring bog-standard by-rote rave tune sampling Jeux Sans Frontières. Not up this regular standards AT ALL.
Lena Fiagbe, don't remember this, but it's pretty good; slightly jazzy but appealing soul-pop, albeit the lyrics are naïf in the extreme.
No breakers? Probably the right decision given how little they ever get played. Maltloaf gets an out of nowhere no. 1. And they're going to play nearly ten minutes of it, hence no breakers. Fair enough though, he's waited 15 years to top the charts, so may as well give him his due.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 6, 2022 13:34:41 GMT 1
Dunno why, but 25 October 1979 popped up, so let's take a step back. It's somewhat frightening to think the gap between that episode and these above is 14 years - yet in the nearly 30 years since music does not seem to have progressed one iota.
Powell introduces The Selecter over the charts. Which is a TUNE. They're at 26. We have big number at bottom left, bigger pic at top right, and name under pic/next to number. And we run all the way up to no. 1 , so no suspense there.
From ska to ska. The Specials in the studio. Yay, Rico. Sounds like live main vocals. Most of the audience is bemused. Cockneys, obviously. This is of course brilliant.
Back to Powell who is hugging an audience member. Viola Wills, looking a bit like Sinitta, with some utter rubbish.
Queen. I do not like Queen.
Legs & Co dancing to Chic. I do not like Chic, but it's apparent how much the recording stands out production-wise from the Viola Wills studio performance, there's a warmth in the mix, like something is always happening.
Dr Hook. Who are really everything that is bad about the 1970s.
Iris "Who?" Williams. Dreadful drippy contralto ballad that sounds like someone picked it out of Lloyd Webber's bargain bin. It's basically "Cavatina" with new lyrics.
The Dooleys. You know, I saw the chart rundown with the likes of the Pistols and Buggles and XTC and Suzi Q, I thought, yay, great show. Instead, they basically went to some 85 year old and asked them to pick some stuff that would be considered too soppy for Walter the Softy. Although...what's quite fun with this one, apart from the fact that Mr and Mrs Dooley have never heard of condoms, is that they probably made a fortune from "Free Nelson Mandela", as that's nearly a straight copy.
And now...Margaret Thatcher? Well, Janet Brown trying to do a Vaughan Meader. Is it wrong that I not only laughed but thought THIS IS ACTUALLY A GOOD TUNE? It's way better than the disco crap we have had above.
Errol Dunkley, with some sunshine reggae. I'm not deep into reggae enough to work out whether this is good or not, it does not sound very original to me. Comes out badly against the Specials and Margaret Thatcher. Now there's a sentence one never expected to type.
Lena Martell at no. 1 with a country hymn. Erm, how? Even by country standards this is maudlin rubbish.
Playout is Abba which is too disco to be a no. 1. Also, if Abba repeats words in titles, it does not top the charts.
This was Classic BBC. I.e. from 1958 where they were banning Don Cornell for being too radical. Ooh, all these dangerous acts. BAN THEM!! WHAT THE PEOPLE WANT IS SOMETHING THAT JO STAFFORD WOULD HAVE THOUGHT WAS A BIT TOO TWEE!!!
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 15, 2022 19:38:36 GMT 1
Vingt huit dix. Dina Carroll, not interested.
Björk with David Arnold. So close to a first Icelandic top ten. Dark, brooding, kind of as if Bauhaus had discovered chillout. Ms Gudmunsdottir sounds terrifying. This is, of course, brilliant.
And for some reason we go straight into the breakers. Which would have made a great show on their own. Levellers, one of their best works thus far, again going mad with the scuzzy infill production. The Grid, unacknowledged that, ruddy hell, it's half of Soft Cell. The Cat, which is Danny John-Jules in his Red Dwarf character, and the theme is on the b-side, for some reason they never got Clare to turn it into a no 1. Tina Turner, this is almost George Benson. The Goodmen, drum-heavy tribal dance.
I wonder why the above were not on in full? Highest new entry is Bryan Adams and this is as weedy as that girl in Grange Hill whose only story arc was having her clarinet nicked. It's mind-murderingly abysmal.
Phil Collins. This should DEFINITELY have been dropped for a breaker. Is that Quentin Willson on synth?
David Hasselhoff. Erm, we lose the Levellers for DAVID TOSSELHOFF? WHICH CONGENITAL MORON MADE THAT DECISION? ?
Sorry. Whoever decided to put him on the show needs not only to be fired, but also to have some sort of tattoo put on their face saying "NEVER EMPLOY ME FOR WORK EVER AGAIN BECAUSE I HAVE THE BRAIN OF A DISEASED CUCUMBER". This is the worst thing that has ever been on this show, even including Adams above, and not only is there no requirement for it, it's advertising an American on an ITV show. Why is my licence fee money going to this? There can be not one single justification for this. It's an insult to the public, it's an insult to real musicians, it's an insult to the human race.
Maltloaf acts as a palate cleanser after that.
That show was aimed at golf club members. Scrap all the acts chosen to be on and replace them with the breakers and you have a very good and varied show. Instead...pah. Had I been Minister for Culture, on the Monday, I would have had Yentob into Whitehall, and demand everyone associated with that programming choice dropped into the North Sea from a helicopter, else the BBC's funding would have been reduced to 38p per year. Unforgivable.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 26, 2022 23:10:55 GMT 1
IV/XI. Made the mistake of looking at this after looking at one of the 1980s ones that are mysteriously being re-shown so when Time Frequency come up with some computerized sh*t that has the lyrical inspiration of a foetus I'm not hugely bothered.
And then although Mariah Cariah looks hot her song is RIGHT from 1974 Lloyd Webber so I cannot be bothered with that either.
Aerosmith at least drive it down and dirty with a song that has one hell of a video, but unfortunately they are in the studio. Never mind, despite the limitations of the format Steven T is giving it all.
Pauline Henry. Someone else giving it all. Great live voice. Underrated song. Good stuff.
Breakers. Faith No More and Boo-yaa Tribe. This should have been on, not Cariah. I note that the 1980s gave each breaker a minute so YOU ACTUALLY GOT THE SONG. Juliet Roberts, formula. Soul II Soul, mellow. Whitney Houston, trying to be Hazel O'Connor. Culture Beat, Dortie pings it as being the same as the last one.
Shamen. People thought Einar's rapping was annoying, but what is Mr C even doing here? Was the girl in the videowall footage the one who was on stage with Shaft? Without Mr C this would be quite Beloved. Interesting until it comes to the talking.
Wet Wet Wet. Nominative determinism in this one, it's as drippy as a salivating Scottie that has just been rescued from a sunken ship.
Maltloaf at the top of the chart stands out a mile from Wet Wet Wet. I'm appreciating the song more and more given the context of what the ochlocracy was buying.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 27, 2022 0:10:17 GMT 1
Armistice Day. So we start with a German-based act. Oh, well done, BBC. The audience seems to be bemused by this, there's a random cheer in the middle for no reason. It is very, very, very dull.
Brian "Skinflint" Adams, who, despite the biggest hit in 40 years, does a video costing about 48 pence. And the song...oh dear oh dear oh dear. I've had more exciting mashed potato.
Soul II Soul. Mellow.
Five top 40 breakers. Paul Weller, who is still doing nothing to demonstrate why it was a good idea to break up The Jam. This is very Small Faces though, Michael Bolton, with what is basically the exact same thing as the Bryan Adams one. Leftfield Lydon at 13, now this is urgent and confrontational, would this not have been better than Captain Hollywood to open the show? Soul Asylum with some vaguely countryfied rock. The Orb with a top ten new entry. Many of these are high up but not getting a full play.
Urban Cookie Collective with the highest new entry. Same formula as the last one; exciting chorus and verses that are not worthy of the name.
And the reason why we do not have Leftfield Lydon et al in full is to accommodate a horrific, sub-Disney, sub-Starland Vocal Band, sub-humanity acoustic direfest from someone who is only famous because of her family name.
Oh God. ANOTHER non-charting song now. Seriously, WHAT IS THE POINT? Elton John & Kiki Dee, who had 6 weeks at no. 1 with a fun and upbeat pop single, and are trying to repeat the trick with what can only fairly be described as an unlistenable dirge.
You can see exactly why people are buying Maltloaf with this crap being foisted on the public. It is simply driving people away.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 27, 2022 10:37:27 GMT 1
1811. 2 Untalented with Dortie being subliminally subversive again ("Shakespearean lyrics"). What IS their target audience? 4 year olds? People with no attention span? Same ol'.
Terence 'Trout' D'arby going all ballad. Doesn't work.
Culture Beat.
Crowded House, who copy "Fall At Your Feet" so closely that one of the words in the title is still the same.
OK, remember that time in 1982, when a video did not arrive, so TOTP looked down the charts for someone to give a bit of a boost to? That decision turned George Michael into a star. Well, U2 have the same technical issues, so TOTP just stick the U2 video on, which is pointless, given that we can see the video on The Chart Show and it undermines the whole point of having an exclusive.
Breakers. Jazzy Jeff Homeless and Will Smith's nice clean rap. Sting with a remix of something that was crap to start with. And another remix or reissue or something for FGTH. Jackson WHO WAS ON LAST WEEK. "Can't wait to see her new film Poetic Justice" is surely meant to be ironic. John Dee WHO WERE ALSO ON LAST WEEK.
Lesley Garrett & Amanda Thompson. Well, this is the ultimate Christmas market guilt trip. 12 year old girl with leukaemia (she beat it, thankfully) and an opera singer with some religious nonsense. You know, you'd think a loving and caring God would not give 12 year old girls cancer.
Maltloaf still holding off some rubbish at the top of the charts.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Nov 27, 2022 14:02:38 GMT 1
23/11, er, 1978. Old school top 30 rundown, Boomtown Rats at no. 1, the song over it is by Musique, and the chorus goes..."push push in the bush". Say what now? This is pure filth and the BBC is broadcasting it at 7.20pm. Hehehehehehehehehe. Did nobody notice? Did nobody understand it? And the presenter is Mike Read and he hasn't thrown it out of the window or anything. On the pics btw Sylvester looks like Donna Summer and there is some artistic FX on Blondie and PiL. And there are LOTS of people in Dollar, one of whom is a brunette Thereze (probably spelt like that then).
Show starts with Racey, Sue Menhenick making a guest appearance towards the end. They're doing the Mud style synchro dancing, but about 5 years too late. Title suggests it's Abba. It isn't. It's atrocious.
Olivia Newton-John can't be arsed to turn up and the BBC has never heard of Grease so it's Legs & Co in babydoll dresses pretending to be lovesick pre-teens. Wow, there is all sorts of Freud going on in this show. The song is crap, of course.
Sylvester, in a glimpse of live below the 30, Mike says it has gone up a massive 35 places, and we get Legs & Co again, this time dressed as car wash brushes. Hm, who is my favourite Leg? It might be Sue. Or Rosie. Or Lulu. This time there's all of them. I am NOT a fan of disco but I find this one oddly appealing. There's a slight edge of darkpop about it.
Elkie Brooks. Nice voice, woeful song. Something The Carpenters would find too twee.
Emerson Lake & Palmer, with something non-charting. I get the impression that whoever chose the acts on this show was born aged 37. This time Emerson or Lake gets to sing. It's not brilliant.
Hot Gossip. Another video. This is great fun though. They ran out of torches and gave the one of them maracas, lol. Was Sarah Brightman actully IN Hot Gossip or was she just placed there for the purpose of having someone who could sing? Not sure why the blokes are there. There's no male vocal. Other than the sampled voiceover.
Back to the studio for a newly hirsute David Essex, with some total gash. This is a very peculiar show. The studio acts are about as exciting as water-flavoured water. I'd be very effed off if I had a ticket for the show and all I saw was a group for whom everything after 1961 just happened to other people and two extremely slow, dull, boring, somnolescent ballads. Was there a mix-up and the entry passes were sent to the Any Questions audience by mistake? The audience - who do look average age quite a lot - are staring in total contempt and apathy. I've seen more movement and excitement in a menhir. *checks where this got in the charts* Well, proved right again.
No. 1 are "the Rats" and we get footage from last week when they tear up the Grease posters. When The Clash got to no. 1 there was a thing about it being the first punk no. 1 single. Why did the Rats get written out of the punk story? This is definitely punk, it's punk attitude, it's also punk in its eff you approach to not conforming to musical norms.
And...why is "Rat Trap" not in the equation when it comes to the greatest no. 1 hits of all time? Listen to it HARD. It starts with that one-guitar note and then boom, big sax intro before calming down again with a brilliant baseline. And then it tells a story. Dublin nightlife. Sprechgesange. Faked-out chorus to allow a second verse. Actual chorus sneaks up without you even noticing because the verses end in two bridges. This is incredibly complicated and intricate for what is meant to be a disposable form of art. Then a totally different verse leading to a totally different bridge. Walk...don't walk. Talk...don't talk. And then changes pace YET AGAIN. Before throwing back to the beginning.
Now that could have finished the song with a nice ring composition, but instead the sax goes jazz AND THEN IT TELLS ANOTHER STORY. This is an entire concept album IN ONE FORTY-FIVE. And it resolves with the two stories coming together.
How did something so out there get to no. 1? Britain had much more exquisite sense and taste, evidently. But, good God, it's ambitious, it's arrogant, it's contemptuous, it's kitchen sink, it's magnificent.
Playout is Chic. Anticlimax.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Nov 28, 2022 14:26:28 GMT 1
No. 1 are "the Rats" and we get footage from last week when they tear up the Grease posters. When The Clash got to no. 1 there was a thing about it being the first punk no. 1 single. Why did the Rats get written out of the punk story? This is definitely punk, it's punk attitude, it's also punk in its eff you approach to not conforming to musical norms. And...why is "Rat Trap" not in the equation when it comes to the greatest no. 1 hits of all time? Listen to it HARD. It starts with that one-guitar note and then boom, big sax intro before calming down again with a brilliant baseline. And then it tells a story. Dublin nightlife. Sprechgesange. Faked-out chorus to allow a second verse. Actual chorus sneaks up without you even noticing because the verses end in two bridges. This is incredibly complicated and intricate for what is meant to be a disposable form of art. Then a totally different verse leading to a totally different bridge. Walk...don't walk. Talk...don't talk. And then changes pace YET AGAIN. Before throwing back to the beginning. Now that could have finished the song with a nice ring composition, but instead the sax goes jazz AND THEN IT TELLS ANOTHER STORY. This is an entire concept album IN ONE FORTY-FIVE. And it resolves with the two stories coming together. How did something so out there get to no. 1? Britain had much more exquisite sense and taste, evidently. But, good God, it's ambitious, it's arrogant, it's contemptuous, it's kitchen sink, it's magnificent. Playout is Chic. Anticlimax. Fully agree about Rat Trap, and you've articulated its brilliance masterfully. Is it overlooked in discussions about the best ever number 1 single though? I haven't seen many discussions like that, but if I was involved it would definitely get a mention. Wonderful record. On another subject, it was funny in TotP 1993 to hear Tony Dortie say that Elton John and Kiki Dee are "the bookies' favourite for this year's Christmas number 1". The bookies have got another (blobby shaped) think coming.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 6, 2022 23:07:51 GMT 1
25/11. K Klass.
John Dee. Jesus, is there some contractual requirement that this ALWAYS HAS TO BE ON?
The Stuffies. "Are you happy now?" sounds very Chris Morris. This is REALLY good. Not commercial at all, sort of indie-folk, sort of an eff you for the industry still wanting easy gimmicky hits.
Heart, who, for some reason, are considered rock, even though this is basically a whispered ballad. It is what it is.
Janet Jackson, with some boring old tripe.
Breakers. Aphex Twin, the contrast between that and the Gibbering Idiot is startling. "This is superb" says Franklin about Kate Bush. He's not wrong, so why was Bush not on but Eltankiki on for the trillionth time? And why are the Doobies on with a remix?
Belinda Carlisle with something that's very Talk Show era Go-Go's and therefore is very good indeed. Much better than anything she's done in quite a while.
Top 10. Franklin does sound p*ssed off at "Janet Jackson...AGAIN". Maltloaf on top for a sixth week. Longer play this week.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 6, 2022 23:09:20 GMT 1
AND I LITERALLY JUST FIND OUT THE CARLISLE SONG WAS CO-WRITTEN BY CHARLOTTE CAFFEY
DAMN I'M GOOD
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 11, 2022 11:50:19 GMT 1
2/12. The opening graphics have been revamped to suggest that this is going to be in 3D. That aged well. Dortie throws in some budget references. M People. This is more mellow and soulful than their previous output, a lot less dancey, but there's a catch in Small's voice that ruins it.
U2 with footage of Paris rather than the video. Um, what's the point of this? Desperation to put something on from U2 even though they couldn't be bothered to do anything for it? Oh 3D. Song is one of those that takes a long, long, long time to build up. Payoff is not worth it.
Bjork, live from France. Is this programme some EU propaganda? Sound mix does not work because Bjork's vocals are way too overpowering for a quiet backing track. Needed to be entirely live.
Culture Beat? No, thank God, it's something better. Mr Blobby. "No end to his talents, no sense of balance." Well, I laughed at that. Stefan Dennis in the top ten. Take the Blobby vocals off and you've got a surprisingly adventurous song, lots of pitch, speed, and mood changes.
East 17. They're turning into a Christmas band. It's not good.
Breakers. Back to the 3D. Is this really worth it? By the time you've got the glasses on the song is finished. Snoop, not good. Bee Gees, still not good. Village People, WHY?
Fake T**t. Pitching for the Xmas no. 1 with a blatant ballad. It's one of the worst things humanity has ever achieved. Nasty, cynical, tax-cheating, unsubtle, and utter crap.
Maltloaf still no. 1.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 11, 2022 15:24:52 GMT 1
Neuf tweurf. Franklin is a liar. "The brilliant Bad Boys Inc." This REALLY is pathetic. What's worse, someone obviously saw this and thought "let's get some Irish lads in to do this". And the teenage girls in Britain were so thick, moronic, degraded in thought, that they bought it in their millions.
Prince with a video straight from 1977. Monotonous.
Gabrielle was due to play live. But she's sitting there sounding like she normally does. So we get the video instead. Oh joy. Someone evidently dug this out of the 1986 US number 37 in the R&B charts dustbin.
Bee Gees, because by law they HAVE to be on.
Now "the brilliant" Dina Carroll. The compliment somewhat diluted given that Franklin evidently thinks a steaming pile of elephant turd is "brilliant". Song is crap and it's a blatant pitch for the yuppie CD single present market. A lot of people will be getting this in their stocking and then breaking up on Boxing Day.
Breakers. UB40 with something that is at least not Christmassy. Blimd Melon, MTV loves this. PSBs, see UB40. These should have been on instead of Gabrielle given that the longer songs all sound EXACTLY THE SAME. Needs SOME variation and Cypress Hill should also have provided it.
Cliff Richard. HAVE I STUMBLED INTO HEART FM? Says a lot that this is way more rocky and edgy than Bad Boys Inc.
Who would have thought Maltloaf would be knocked off no. 1 by Mr Blobby? He's in the studio but not performing it. Can anyone work out what the product of the Blobby Factory is?
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vastar iner
Member
I am the poster on your wall
Posts: 17,431
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 13, 2022 23:01:53 GMT 1
200 years before an overture. Chakademus and Pliers have found a mate. I like the production work on this, gives it a shambolic air, and at least it is way different to the original and most famous covers.
East 17 and Fake T**t again. Erm, why?
"Bat Out Of Hell" at no. 11. I don't remember that happening. I question it being on though because re-issues ought to be avoided.
East 17, rubbish.
Diana Ross, really should get back to the sixties, not the seventies.
Breakers. EYC, 40, get a play because HYPE!!! K7, who are not L7, rubbish. Michael Jackson's NINTH single from an album, so the only people buying this are morons, it's about some kid dying of AIDS so I feel bad about saying it's an outright atrocity. Cliff, see above. Bryson & Bell, Disneycore. Ice T, this should have got a full play, not least because we heard more from Dortie about it than we heard about T. New Order, don't recall that one. And a re-issue of "The Power Of Love" (FGTH styleee). Well, with Lord Vastariner's rules, we could have got a bit of extra time for these by eschewing Maltloaf and E17 repeats.
And even more time by not having Haddaway And sh*te who is on despite entering the charts way way way lower than half of the breakers.
A stomach-gougingly bad no. 1 rounds off a very, very, very poor show. Best thing on it was from the seventies and the second best a cover of the sixties. Says it all.
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Post by o on Dec 20, 2022 18:14:51 GMT 1
Sarah Cracknell was looking gorgeous on I was born on Christmas day, I sensed chemistry between her and Tim Burgess, or perhaps they were both stoned?
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