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Post by lordmelbury on Dec 15, 2023 21:26:05 GMT 1
The selling point in the Jinny track is not the music or the singing, but that the person fronting it is an attractive woman wearing a bikini top. It's no wonder she cannot keep warm. But the woman fronting it is Carryl Varley, and not the singer of the song, which is why she is having to mime, and also why I would not have had it on the show. She's basically sold her body and soul for fakery. I think the epithet applied is appropriate. youtu.be/tzgHA4mcyCQ?si=IN6mF6UdsLK-2bE-Carryl Varley mentions it here after Dominik Diamond brought it up, much to her dislike.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 22, 2023 10:26:25 GMT 1
27/7 and I have a foreboding of evil because the opening thing is Boyzone, a marketing gimmick so cynical and obvious that I wonder if they are a p*sstake.
Boo Radleys with a slight return (heh) to form, there's a bit more of their pre-Wake Up LCD aiming.
And then we plummet to the basement. Bad enough that we have one of Check 1-2 presenting, but now it is the poor man's Little & Little whose marketing team have now decided they are East 17. You really HAVE to be brain-dead to have bought this. Had any kids of mine wanted to buy this, I would have dropped them off at Battersea dogs' home.
Method Man and Mary J Anagram. No. 3 in the US, as if that's a positive. Method Man sounds exhausted. The emotional engagement of a digestive biscuit.
God, McLachlan is annoying the sh*te out of me. Lightning Seeds, who seem to be constantly on the verge of something huge but it never seems to quite happen. This is channelling a 1967 Beatles vibe, with a hint of Christmas about it, and maybe with a bit more of a publicity push it would break with the masses. Really good.
Boyzone exclusive. "So Good". They're not very self-aware, are they? There is not one single redemptive characteristic about this whatsoever. It literally subtracts from the sum total of human achievement. Darwin would have been rewriting.
REM. No, don't remember this at all, maybe at the time I had hurled the telly out of the window in disgust at the Irish Marketing Board. This is...brilliant, it's weird, it's Eddie Kendricks mixed with This Mortal Coil.
"Keep your clubs away from his young, it's Seal." I've never been keen on this one, not sure why this became his big US hit.
Supergrass, because they are no. 1 on the album charts, which gives the opportunity of an outing for "Caught By The Fuzz", which now is even more of a helter-skelter headfuck than it was at the time. What the f*** has HAPPENED to music now? Bloody Sheerans and so on with their anaemic sterilized chemistry lab nonsense. This is raw, dirty, ugly, careering, and ecstatic.
McLachlan has found a guitar, FFS. And almost randomly, Julian Cope. Did someone at the Beeb get a memo about the Worst Episode Ever? Because someone has evidently done their homework to make this one an actual proper show. It's not his best but it's still way better than the top 10 which he will not make.
McLachlan reading the top 10 is like Socrates' Apology - increases the likelihood that someone will condemn him to death. The no. 1 is literally unlistenable. Hole on the playout (which lasts about eight seconds) and I don't think I've ever wanted to punch anyone more than McLachlan as he introduces.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Dec 22, 2023 17:22:39 GMT 1
Threight. Blur opening and Goodier who has come as Gary Davies. Therapy? with an explosive start, EVERY TOTP should start with SOMEthing like this, get the old blood pumping.
Corona. Three monkeys, ten minutes. Live vocals obviously not needed now.
Blue Monday is back in another revamp and a very 1990s Pot Noodle video. For once I am not averse to this sort of a remix, it's not a lazy speed-it-up or a random-dance-beat-with-oooh-yeahs, it's sort of 808-Statied.
Black Grape. A prime example of why you do not need technical perfection, you just need some proper spirit. Wonder if Corona look on this and weep. This is a total shambles and everyone seems to be doing something different, like they've all wandered in from different bands. But it works.
Leftfield. Blimey, producer must have had an absolute ROCKET up his arse after that nadir show, this is making this appointment telly again. The sort of thing that would be buried away on MTV2 at 3.30am but it's in the charts. Brilliant stuff.
Pet Shop Boys. This ...is NOT brilliant. It's basically "Bamboleo" with some vapid electro wibble. And Chris Lowe mentioning designer labels. They basically had three minutes left in the studio so threw any old crap together. Unless it's an experiment. "How crap can we get to have the plebs STILL buy our stuff?" It makes "Agadoo" sound lyrically like "The Whole Of The Moon". Atrocious.
Tricky. Again, this is the sort of stuff which SHOULD be on. Crap video (and, frankly, Tricky is a completely crap name, after all there's already been Tricky Disco) but the song is brilliant.
Blur. Can see the Beeb is on their side in the battle then. Love this record. Wow, this is a well-constructed episode as well as having some terrific music. What HAS happened?
Awful no. 1 and the playout is TLC's best track yet - and best video, which I genuinely thought was going to be a film soundtrack song, it's so intriguingly put together.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Dec 23, 2023 23:32:50 GMT 1
I watched that episode a week or so ago and thought “my God, I think that was one which Vastariner might actually like!”
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Feb 2, 2024 11:22:51 GMT 1
1995 is back tonight 10/08/1995 Top of the Pops Lisa I'Anson presents the pop chart programme, first broadcast on 10 August 1995 and featuring Mary Kiani, Ash, TLC, Julian Cope, Tina Arena, Suggs, Madonna, Boyzone, Take That and Felix. 17/08/1995 Top of the Pops Wendy Lloyd presents the pop chart programme, first broadcast on 10 August 1995 and featuring Moist, The Original, Shiva, Deuce, Guru Feat. Chaka Khan, Björk, JX, Oasis, Take That, Blur.
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Post by o on Feb 2, 2024 21:14:37 GMT 1
OMG Moist, I did like their singles!
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Feb 12, 2024 16:59:47 GMT 1
I wish Jarvis Cocker could present every week, I expect he's busy though. It's Roll With It versus Country House week, and The Charlatans are on with Just When You're Thinking Things Over, a song several times better than either of them. Funny old world. There seems to be a battle of the Who The f*** Is Alices brewing low down the charts, I have a feeling it will all be blowing up pretty soon. Michael Jackson singing a song written by R Kelly, that's only just made it past the BBC's post-Yew Tree censors on two counts. I'm not sure whether I should be annoyed that I had to sit through it or grateful that I got to watch the episode at all. I remember being very confused, disturbed even, when first seeing Boyzone do Father And Son on here, because I liked the song. I was incredibly glad to find out it was a cover, and that led to the discovery of lots of wonderful Cat Stevens stuff, so I guess I have something to be thankful to Ronan Keating for. Only that one thing though. This performance is actually very funny - has Keating done something with his hair? He looks about 15. He often looks deathly serious, but freed from the need to remember his dance moves he's sitting on that stool grinning away to a song where the serious look would be far more appropriate. The other 4 sit on their own stools doing nothing at all until they suddenly pick up the microphones at the same time and go "ooooh", that actually made me laugh out loud. What a strange way to make a living. Echobelly - Great Things is Great Fun. It really is starting to feel like anyone with a guitar can make the top 20, and that's wonderful. vastar iner Are you joining us in 1995? It would be brilliant if you did, but only if your blood pressure can take it.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Feb 12, 2024 20:37:15 GMT 1
Didn't know it had come back, will take a shufti.
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Post by o on Feb 12, 2024 21:42:01 GMT 1
I loved that the Gallagher Brothers swopped places for their performance on the Pops. And yes it was good to see Echobelly again!
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Feb 14, 2024 12:45:29 GMT 1
Not sure how many more of these I will do, given the BBC has decided that people do not want to watch big-screen stuff on big-screens, so will only allow people to watch a visual medium on the tiniest screen possible. Apparently it is too expensive to keep the iplayer going, they'd rather throw millions to Lineker to spout clichés on Match of the Day as part of his entry-level antisemitism course. f***ing ****s.
Talking of f***ing ****s, the first thing on 10/8 one sees is Boyzone. God, I utterly, utterly, utterly detest these talentless, music-murdering f***stains. I would specifically repeal the Human Rights Act prohibition on torture against these and W***life and instead make it compulsory. The Hitlers of music. Bet Lineker loves them.
Anyway, the show. I'Anson making bland seem like Iggy Pop. Mary Kiani, don't remember this because there's nothing to remember. Ash, with Tim Wheeler nearly touching his guitar, it's a bit by numbers. TLC, seen before.
Then Julian Cope, dressed as a motorway with a Neu! t-shirt on. Unlike Lineker, this IS worth the licence fee. I'm getting hints of Free in there as well.
Tina Arena. Well, I suppose it's nice for the swot at the local comp to swank her talent show entry, but not sure TOTP is the right environment.
Suggs. Not sure why this is a solo thing given that it sounds exactly like Madness. It's still almost the best thing on the show, even though it's a cover and it's 10 years out of date.
Madonna, who has re-created a bondage version of Celebrity Squares, minus Willie Rushton. Is this even a song? There were more engaging things on Pages from Ceefax.
Boyzone. (not allowed)
Playout is Felix, with the Binatone preset, it seems.
God, the young are w**k.
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Feb 14, 2024 18:01:05 GMT 1
17/8. Bjert is in New Yert and will be doing a single. Show is being presented by Wendy "who?" Lloyd and on commence avec Moist. Susie Dent's least favourite word btw. I've never seen what's wrong with it, it's a perfectly cromulent word. Other than I now realize I've been confusing Moist with Moose for the last 25 years. Quite like this. Not particularly inspired or special, sounds a bit like a slower Stiltskin, but it'll do. Early sign of emoticon on a long-sleeve tee.
Highest new entry from The Original. "I'll have Incredibly Misleading Names for $500, Alex." Well, this is lyrically inspired.
Shiva over the charts. Now, there's a tragedy about this. The reason why we are not seeing Louise Dean miming to the song on the video is that this clip is from footage shot for other media. Because by this time the poor girl has been killed by a hit-and-run driver. Hence the video focuses on her having fun as a requiem to her. Lloyd only mentions this at the end, which was the wrong place to do it, especially given that Deuce now have a song called "On The Bible", when God has just been proved to be a tw*t.
By the way. The man who killed her was drunk. Failed to stop. Had no licence. Had no insurance. And he got given a six year sentence.
Deuce is rubbish of course. Guru (not Josh) with Chaka Khan is also rubbish. Khan sounds terrible.
Bjork on the other hand is of course brilliant.
JX is not. WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY too much landfill dance on this show. Controversial opinion: they shouldn't have ANY of it on. This is the wrong environment for it. Does anyone actually LISTEN to it rather than go out clubbing to it? There's no depth whatsoever in this or anything like it. There are about four notes and three words and no tempo or key change.
I an basically soot to the playout because we have Oasis with "Rockin' All Over The World" and the music-murderers before we get to the other half of the big chart battle. "Country House" is so much the better record that I feel ashamed at betraying my working-class roots. But then again the Mancs sold their soul for Arab gelt so they can eff off.
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TheThorne
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Post by TheThorne on Feb 14, 2024 18:58:08 GMT 1
Yeh never knew that about Shiva, saw the video looked off, and she was a pretty girl and I wondered how I didnt know about her or she didn't do more stuff
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Post by Smurfie on Feb 14, 2024 21:43:05 GMT 1
Can we stop the unnecessary swearing in this thread please?
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Feb 16, 2024 15:50:31 GMT 1
No idea at whom that is aimed, I NEVER swear unnecessarily.
24/8, milkfloat but it's not Benny Hill, it's Blur SPOILER ALERT DUDES. Jarvis introduces Clock, who demonstrate their levels of talent by having the rapping live but the singing mimed. This is one clock which should be put back in autumn and never ever ever let out again.
Charlatans. It's the Charlatans. Sounds exactly like the Charlatans.
Madonna. Stealing the spotlight from someone who deserves it.
Xpansions. This was rubbish before, it's rubbish now. This is dance music, everyone. So unimaginative that they are already re-issuing stuff that's 5 years old. Image if the Beatles re-issued "She Loves You" in 1968. It's a terrible genre that acts as a bucket for the terminally untalented. It's the same six seconds over and over and over again. Godawful and the idiots are lapping it up. The programme planning is once more terrible. The most exciting and media-friendly chart week for ages and a) they spoil it from the off and waste the chance to get new interesting fresh stuff before a curious public.
Losers. I don't think Noel is really lead vox on this.
Bjork. Yes, brilliant, but was on last week. See above on terrible programming.
Diana Ross. Terrible. This could be literally any female vocalist. It's as if Motown threw it at her from the office bin because she was complaining about a lack of choons. She's doing her damnedest with it but you can't polish a turd.
Could almost say the same thing about the Michelle Gayle thing afterwards. She's REALLY going for it but dance music has disappeared up its own fundament so far that it's now sampling the sampling. The shark was jumped long ago.
Blur no. 1, and the RCHP on the plahout - they are not my thing but surely they should have been on the main show as a touch of variety instead of bloody Xpansions...
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vastar iner
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Post by vastar iner on Feb 16, 2024 16:42:13 GMT 1
31/8. Michael Bolton, oh dear, that's not an encouraging start.
Dale Winton presents, erm, what?
We hear "I Feel Love" in the background but it's actually New Atlantic with an old song, because, as I set out above, dance music ran out of imagination, skill, ability, interest, originality, and talent a long long long time ago.
De'lacy. This is actually OK, almost sounds like three tracks mashed together, and great vocals.
Michael Jackson with a song that I hope he didn't address to an 11 year old. This would have been awful in 1974, let alone now. Wetter than a drowning haddock.
The Rembrandts, with the theme of a show about six impossibly attractive New Yorkers who live a billionaire lifestyle without any visible employment, but with whom we are meant to sympathize because of their love life failures. Irritating.
Christ alive, they've made up an excuse to have the five worst people on the planet. "You have a gun with ten bullets and in front of you are Boyzone, Gadaffi, Saddam Hussein, Kim Jong-Il, Teodoro Obiang and Sese Mobutu. Whom do you shoot?" You know the answer. No need for Bleating to say they're live, we can tell that from his pathetic meandering up and down what passes for a vague approximation of a musical scale in the vain hope that somewhere he will hit the right note, even if by accident.
Montell Jordan. I am literally losing the will to live.
Echobelly. Thank GOD. Shame it wasn't Sleeper, given who is presenting, but this is actual proper shouty MOXIE. Ribena in the desert.
Now, not only is Michael Bolton utter gash, but his song is basically "All That She Wants". Or maybe "The Sign" given they are identical. Which total cretin greenlit THIS for the show?
Blur do something Oasis have never done, i.e. successfully defend the no. 1 position. Playout is Scatman John, video by Wubble U, it seems.
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mfr
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Post by mfr on Feb 16, 2024 20:42:23 GMT 1
Diana Ross. Terrible. This could be literally any female vocalist. It's as if Motown threw it at her from the office bin because she was complaining about a lack of choons. She's doing her damnedest with it but you can't polish a turd. She'd been on EMI since the early 1980s.
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Post by o on Feb 16, 2024 22:06:42 GMT 1
Episodes pulled tonight, so they could pay tribute to Steve Wright and show 4 episodes that he hosted, his first was in 1980, and it was a cracking show, the 1984 one I switched off when Black Lace came on...
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Post by raliverpool on Feb 16, 2024 22:34:19 GMT 1
Episodes pulled tonight, so they could pay tribute to Steve Wright and show 4 episodes that he hosted, his first was in 1980, and it was a cracking show, the 1984 one I switched off when Black Lace came on... If you thought the 1984 episode was bad I dare not think what you would have made of the late 1989 episode with Sonia; Milli Vanilli; Bros; Living In A Box; Curiosity Killed The Cat all doing their lesser known hits...
Still I saw on twitter in reference to Morrissey's (actually quite touching) tribute on his website which included his tale: “I once bumped into Steve outside Woolworths in Henley-on-Thames. He said 'what the hell are YOU doing here?' and I replied 'precisely.' During an interview he edited out diarist when I mis-pronounced it as diary-ist … he resisted the perfect opportunity to make fun of me.
Richard Osman tweeted whilst watching the 1986 episode making reference to that incident saying "I'd like to think they met whilst they were both going into Woolworths to get this single":
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Robbie
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Post by Robbie on Feb 17, 2024 23:26:23 GMT 1
Episodes pulled tonight, so they could pay tribute to Steve Wright and show 4 episodes that he hosted, his first was in 1980, and it was a cracking show, the 1984 one I switched off when Black Lace came on...
Black Lace spoiled what was otherwise a great TOTP episode.
1980 was full of classics too.
The 1986 episode was good, the 1989 episode less so.
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SheriffFatman
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Post by SheriffFatman on Feb 18, 2024 11:50:33 GMT 1
I love watching Black Lace performances on Top of the Pops, they’re absolutely fascinating. Look into their eyes and you can see straight through the exterior party party facade to a kind of hollow desperation. They know that what they are doing is utterly humiliating, but also that the alternative is a life in Barnsley, either down the pit or on the dole. Credibility is a luxury their talents will never stretch to, but if they can just keep that conga line going a bit longer maybe the royalties will see them through a few more winters.
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