My worst hit songs of the 80s - 1980-1983 complete

[TheThorne]

5 Glory Glory Man Utd - Fans Forever, Jenny Bae 



As is now customary we have to have a football song in the top 10 and this is especially awful, yes its a timeless chant but a terrible record

[TheThorne]

4 Maggie - Foster & Allen 



A very nice classic folk song but in 1983 what the hell are you doing releasing  a song called Maggie!! I just had to hate it as it was impossible not to think this was about Thatcher, that and its Foster & Allen again, it had to be high on this list.

[TheThorne]

3 Only You - The Flying Pickets



Yes you got my top 2 correct Earl Purple but now I dont know if to change the order or not, but really its a joint top 2 again. As for this I probably hated this more than the other two at the time,, I hate this style of singing for one thing and they also make mockery of a great song.

[TheThorne]

2 Candy Girl - New Edition 



Ahhh.. kids doing pop isn't always terrible look at Musical Youth who didnt even make my long lists and to be fair this is at least a very modern hip sounding record, very much the sound of the future but those squeaky voices and terrible lyrics, it was just painful whenever it was on the radio but the difference might be I was 12, they were still older than me so thats why I can't make this number one. But if I was 18 I probably would have hated it more.

[TheThorne]

The Worst Song of 1983 and 1982 tbh!!!


Orville's Song - Keith Harris & Orville




Again age is a factor again, I was 12 so Orville was still kind of ok and funny in my age group just but this song was a step too far. And to be fair I would probably rather listen to this than that Debbis waterman song earlier but the difference is, I didnt remember that one. This has been ingrained in my psyche for 40 years!! The damage was done a long time ago. 

[TheThorne]

Ok going top continue on a new thread as all these videos might cause some people issues.

[Good Old Days]

I rated "Only You" as 10th favourite Christmas # 1.

"Orville's Song" is cute, it's impossible to dislike it.

[raliverpool]

Jan 15, 2022 10:05:18 GMT 1 TheThorne said:

2 Candy Girl - New Edition 



Ahhh.. kids doing pop isn't always terrible look at Musical Youth who didnt even make my long lists and to be fair this is at least a very modern hip sounding record, very much the sound of the future but those squeaky voices and terrible lyrics, it was just painful whenever it was on the radio but the difference might be I was 12, they were still older than me so thats why I can't make this number one. But if I was 18 I probably would have hated it more.

It's comments like that, along with a bunch of great songs included in these lists (Pipes Of Peace (No Pipes Of Peace = No Ash - Burn Baby Burn = the first song ever played on BBC Radio6 Music); My Oh My; etc are great records; whilst Cliff Richard released some musical horrors during the 1980s but Please Don't Fall In Love most definitely does not belong on that list) that make me think I should compile my own annual listings to post.

[TheThorne]

Everyone is different but yeh do your own, they dont take long, I will probably go mad about some of the tracks you include, for a start I don't expect you too like as much AOR as I do. But its just for fun and 1983 was a tough year to find bad songs in. The age we were at the time is a real factor.

[TheThorne]

1 Orville's Song - Keith Harris & Orville
2 Candy Girl - New Edition - Candy Girl
3 Only You - The Flying Pickets - Lost Boys
4 Maggie - Foster & Allen - Greatest - Foster & Allen
5 Glory Glory Man Utd - Fans Forever, Jenny Bae - Glory Glory Man Utd
6 Superman - Black Lace - 20 All Time Party Favourites
7 Hold Me 'Til The Morning Comes (with Peter Cetera) - Paul Anka, Peter Cetera - A Body Of Work
8 What Are We Gonna Get 'Er Indoors? - Dennis Waterman & George Cole
9 Rat Rapping - Roland rat Superstar
10 Tahiti - David Essex - The Collection
11 Major Tom - Coming Home - Peter Schilling - The Different Story (World Of Lust And Crime)
12 My Oh My - Slade - The Amazing Kamikaze Syndrome (Expanded)
13 My Love - Lionel Richie - Lionel Richie
14 Puttin' on the Ritz - Taco - After Eight
15 The Curly Shuffle - Jump 'N' The Saddle Band - The Curly Shuffle
16 Shiny Shiny - Haysi Fantayzee - Battle Hymns For Children Singing
17 I'm Never Gving Up - Sweet Dreams
18 Please Don't Fall in Love - 2002 Remaster - Cliff Richard - Silver
19 Tonight I Celebrate My Love - Peabo Bryson, Roberta Flack - Born To Love
20 Wham Rap! (Enjoy What You Do?) - Wham! - Fantastic
21 Snot Rap - Kenny Everett
22 Far From Over - Frank Stallone - Frank Stallone
23 True Love Ways - Live at the Royal Albert Hall; 2004 Remaster - Cliff Richard - Dressed for the Occasion
24 Whirly Girl - OXO - Oxo
25 Pipes Of Peace - Paul McCartney - All The Best (UK Version)
26 Never Gonna Let You Go - Sérgio Mendes - Sergio Mendes
27 Only for Love - Limahl - Don't Suppose
28 Don't Stop That Crazy Rhythm - Modern Romance - Their Greatest Tracks
29 Never Say Die (Give a Little Bit More) - Cliff Richard - Private Collection
30 Riders On The Storm - Annabel Lamb
31 What About Me? - Moving Pictures - Days of Innocence
32 Ooh to Be Ah - Kajagoogoo - White Feathers
33 Puss 'n Boots - Adam Ant - Strip
34 In Your Eyes - George Benson - In Your Eyes
35 Spice Of Life - Remastered - The Manhattan Transfer - Bodies And Souls (Remastered Edition)
36 I'll Tumble 4 Ya - Culture Club - Kissing To Be Clever
37 Body Work - Vocal Mix - Hot Streak - Body Work
38 London Town - Bucks Fizz - The Best Of Bucks Fizz
39 Destination Zulu Land - King Kurt - Ooh Wallah Wallah
40 Dark Is the Night - Shakatak - The Best Of
41 It's Late - Shakin' Stevens - The Bop Won't Stop
42 Kissing With Confidence - Will Powers - Dancing For Mental Health
43 A Mess Of Blues - Edit Version - Status Quo - Back To Back
44 Joanna - Single Version - Kool & The Gang - The Very Best Of Kool & The Gang (Reissue)
45 Many Rivers To Cross - UB40 - Labour Of Love
46 Read 'Em and Weep - Barry Manilow - Greatest Hits Vol. 3
47 Hey - Julio Iglesias - HEY!
48 (Hey You) The Rock Steady Crew - Rock Steady Crew - 80s Groove & Soul
49 Twisting By The Pool - Dire Straits - ExtendeDancEPlay
50 Calling Your Name - Marilyn - Top Of The Pops 1980 - 1984

[Earl Purple]

New Edition were all younger than me as were Musical Youth, but they were kids. I think the first time an adult who was younger than me reached #1 in the UK was Rick Astley.

[vastar iner]

Jan 14, 2022 21:22:24 GMT 1 TheThorne said:

15 The Curly Shuffle - Jump 'N' The Saddle Band 



This song was bad enough until I realised it was some weird tribute to The Three Stooges and that makes it even worse.  Not sure I ever found them funny.

Did you not guess from the title?

The Three Stooges never got critical acclaim because they were pretty lowbrow slapstick.  But I think paradoxically that makes them work better today than, say, the Marx Brothers, a lot of whose material falls pretty flat with me - because verbal comedy has moved on so much, and Harpo's goofing often looks mean-spirited.  (That may be heretical, but f*** it.)

The single was a minor hit in the States.  Had it got airplay it would have been much bigger.  The Variety charts, which were entirely sales-based (albeit from a small sample), had it at no. 2.